


Wolfstar Drabbles

by Engie_Ivy



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, Idiots in Love, James Potter Ships Remus Lupin/Sirius Black, James Potter is a Good Friend, M/M, Remus Lupin & James Potter Friendship, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:20:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 20,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27532912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Engie_Ivy/pseuds/Engie_Ivy
Summary: Collection of short Wolfstar Drabbles!Most of them are sweet and fluffy, with many get-togethers, but some have a bit of angst.See the first chapter for an overview of the contents.Hope you'll enjoy!Latest chapter:Very funny that Dorcas and Marlene named their puppy Padfoot, but if Sirius hears Remus talk about Padfoot sitting on his lap and licking his neck one more time, he might go insane.Humour.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 85
Kudos: 437





	1. Contents

Chapter 2:

Remus and Sirius overhear the girls talk about who they should go to the Yule Ball with.

**Fluff. Humour. Get-Together.**

1725 words.

Chapter 3:

After three years, James forces Remus and Sirius to talk about their breakup.

**Break-Up and Make-Up. Angst With a Happy Ending.**

2513 words.

Chapter 4:

When they miss out on the Halloween party, rumours surface that Remus and Sirius are hooking up.

**Halloween. Fluff. Get-Together.**

2007 words.

Chapter 5:

Sirius is back from Azkaban, but Remus still feels like he's lost him.

**Hurt and Angst. No Happy Ending. Warning: Sad.**

832 words.

Chapter 6:

Remus' roommate James lets his friend crash on their couch.

**Meet-Cute. Pining. Fluff. Humour.**

1859 words.

Chapter 7:

Remus clashes with Sirius’ parents and is convinced he's going to get dumped.

**Established Relationship. Meet The Parents Gone Wrong. Fluff. Humour.**

1457 words.

Chapter 8:

James makes a point that Remus and Sirius are always in each other's space, and Sirius panicks about being too clingy.

**Fluff. Hurt/Comfort.**

640 words.

Chapter 9:

Everyone knows Sirius is in love with Remus and Remus has rejected him. Remus wants Sirius to move on so people will stop judging him for it.

**Fluff. Get-Together.**

1917 words.

Chapter 10:

Sirius misses his first date with Remus, and there's no excuse for that! Unless being unconscious after a Death Eater attack counts?

**Humour. Slight Angst. Fluff. Get-Together.**

1753 words.

Chapter 11:

James helps Remus make a grand romantic gesture for Valentine’s Day. Remus won't say who for, but James has a very strong suspicion.

**Fluff. Humour. Get-Together.**

2723 words.

Chapter 12:

After finding out Sirius has been hiding their friendship from his parents, Remus and James wrongfully assume he's ashamed of them.

**Friendship. Misunderstandings. Hurt/Comfort.**

1716 words.

Chapter 13:

Very funny that Dorcas and Marlene named their puppy Padfoot, but if Sirius hears Remus talk about Padfoot sitting on his lap and licking his neck one more time, he might go insane.

 **Humour**.

815 words.


	2. Eavesdropping Get-Together

> **Stupid ideas and dumb bets**

Boys cannot go up to the girls’ dormitory. Animals, however, have no trouble walking up those stairs, and once upstairs, his Animagii friends managed to pull Remus up as well. Which is how Remus finds himself crouched under the Invisibility Cloak with his three friends in the corner of Lily, Marlene, Mary and Emmeline’s dorm.

James had overheard Marlene tell Dorcas and Amelia that they were all to meet in their dorm that evening, to discuss dates for the upcoming Yule Ball. James had immediately decided that this was a conversation he needed to hear, as he was particularly interested in Lily’s thoughts on the matter. Remus was against the whole scheme, and had lectured his friends on breaching the girls’ privacy, but to no avail. Remus only decided to join to prevent his friends from being creepy, or at least more creepy than they’re already being. Not that Remus actually thinks his friends would do something like peek at the girls. He actually tested James. They had decided that Remus should look into the dorm first to check if all the girls were properly dressed, as Remus is as innocent and unassuming as can be, and he had said that Lily was standing in her bra. James passed his test with flying colours, as instead of immediately looking himself, he pulled Remus back and scolded him for not averting his eyes.

So now Remus is huddled under the Invisibility Cloak, where they only fit if Peter remains in his rat form, on the cold floor of Lily’s dorm besides her bed. He only refrains from complaining about his current predicament because Sirius is pressed against him so close he can feel the warmth of his body and his hair tickling his face.

In the middle of the room, Lily is sitting on her bed, knees tucked underneath her, wearing pyjamas and her hair in a messy bun on top of her head. Dorcas and Marlene are sitting on the edge of Marlene’s bed, Mary is lying upside down on a pillow on the floor, and on some other pillows scattered around, Emmeline, Hestia and Amelia are sitting.

“He’s going to ask you!” Dorcas says.

Lily brushes a hair from her face. “He wouldn’t dare.”

“Any sensible person wouldn’t, but Snivellus…”

“Don’t call him that childish nickname Potter and Black came up with.”

“He’s called you a lot worse,” Dorcas replies.

“Exactly,” Lily says. “And you don’t really think that after calling me the m-word in front of the entire school he’ll have the nerve to ask me to the Yule Ball?”

“You know what would really piss him off?” Mary says with a grin. “If you’d go to the ball with James Potter!”

Remus glances over at James, but he doesn’t look as pleased with this as Remus would expect.

Lily huffs. “I don’t care enough about Sniv- Snape to choose my date purely based on his feelings.”

“Besides,” Marlene adds. “That wouldn’t be fair to Potter. He really cares about you.”

“Potter only cares about himself,” Lily mutters.

“Lils, you know that’s not true,” Emmeline says. “He deserves more credit than that.”

Lily rolls her eyes. “You just like him because he’s the great Quidditch hero with good abs.”

Marlene leans forward with a sly smile “So you _have_ been noticing Potter’s abs.”

Lily blushes and throws a pillow at her face. “Shut up.”

Remus sees James practically beaming. What Remus hopes he’ll learn from this is that he should show Lily his caring side more, and let her know how his feelings for her are sincere. What Remus fears he’ll learn from this is to show his abs more around Lily.

“So what’s the current status?” Dorcas asks. “We have Mary going with Peter, Emmeline going with Gideon, Marlene going with me-”

“Oh?” Marlene asks. “I don’t believe you have asked me yet?”

“Too bad, McKinnon,” Dorcas says, while pulling Marlene in and kissing her temple. “That was part of the deal when you agreed to be my girlfriend.”

Marlene chuckles. “I’m glad I don’t have to go through the trouble of getting one of those obnoxious boys as my date.”

“Who would you pick from the guys if you had to?” Hestia asks.

“Who would you pick from the girls if you had to?”

“Lily.”

“Lily.”

“Lily, for sure.”

“Yeah, Lily.”

“Aaaw, you girls!”

“Now Marlene, who would it be?”

“Sirius Black,” Marlene says. Lily rolls her eyes, but Marlene just shrugs. “If I have to, I might as well go with the fittest bloke.”

Remus can agree with her there, and is suddenly very glad for Dorcas. Next to him, Sirius has a smug smile on his face.

“You’d just do that to meddle with the bet!”

Remus frowns. The bet?

“Oh, you’d know all about meddling with the bet, won’t you, Emmeline?” Amelia says. “I heard you talk to Lupin the other day when Potter and Black entered the common room!”

Emmeline flips her hair over her shoulder. “Why, Amelia, I don’t know what you mean.”

“You kept talking about ‘how broad Black’s shoulders have become since he has started playing Quidditch’.”

“I was just making conversation.”

“You were putting ideas in his head!”

“Mia, please,” Lily says. “I hardly think Remus Lupin needs Emmeline to put the idea of Sirius Black’s broad shoulders in his head. I’m pretty sure they’re well-represented there already.”

The girls giggle, and Remus feels his cheeks burn. He feels said broad shoulders pressed against him, and the owner glance curiously at him.

“Can I still change my answer?” Mary asks. “I had no, but I was sitting across of Lupin and Black in the library, and Lupin was enthusiastic telling Black about this book he had read, and Black was looking at him so fondly!”

“Merlin, Mary,” Marlene says. “You hadn’t noticed that until now? He’s been looking at Lupin like love sick puppy since third year.”

Remus eyes widen, but he doesn’t dare to turn his head to look at Sirius.

“There’s no changing your answer based on new insights anyway.” Amelia takes a piece of parchment out of her pocket. “It stays as follows,” she says, before she starts reading out loud. “Official bets on the matter of whether Sirius Black and Remus Lupin will get their shite together in time for the Yule Ball and be each other’s date: Lily, Emmeline, Alice, Hestia: yes. Marlene, Dorcas, Mary, Amelia: no.”

Remus still can’t look at Sirius. He doesn’t know what to feel. Mortification that he’s apparently been so obvious, for sure, but also hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe, the girls are onto something and Sirius is into him as well?

“I don’t want to be pessimistic,” Marlene says. “But honestly, I think it’ll take more time for Sirius Black to get his head out of his arse. We’ll be lucky if they figure it out before next year’s ball.”

“Lupin won’t be much better,” Emmeline says. “He’s a super smart guy, but when it comes to Sirius Black, his IQ drops like twenty points. I was working on a Potions essay with him the other day, and Black was standing behind us throwing the Quaffle back and forth with Potter. I pretended like everything was fine, but he didn’t hear two-third of the questions I was asking!”

Mary chuckles. “Oh Emmeline, you can’t expect Lupin to focus on Potions when Black’s arse is in view!”

Now mortification definitely takes over.

“I can’t handle another year of this, though!” Lily groans. “Every time I’m in a room with the two of them together I wish I brought a knife to cut the sexual tension.”

“I’m surprised you’re all for it, Lily,” Dorcas says. “I know how much you like Lupin, but honestly, I thought you saw Black as an annoying, arrogant and loud prat?”

“Nah,” Lily says. “I’ve discovered there’s more to him than that long ago. And even if he acts brash half of the time, he’s so thoughtful and caring when it comes to Lupin! I’d hardly recognize him.”

“I know!” Mary gushes. “Like, normally he can’t pay attention in class for longer than five minutes, but when Remus is ill and can’t come to class, he takes notes of every word the teacher says, even during History of Magic, just in case Lupin wants to know something. And when does anyone ever wants to know anything about _History of Magic_?”

Remus blinks. Of course, Sirius can be very considerate, and Remus’s circumstances may make him more in need of his kindness, but it can’t have anything to do with Remus himself, right?

Suddenly, Alice bursts through the door. “Frank just asked me for the Yule Ball!” She squeals.

Immediately, the girls jump to their feet and hug her in excited exclamations of delight. In the consternation, James grabs Sirius and Remus’s arms and drags them to their feet and out of the room.

Nobody says anything until they’re back in their own dorm. Remus sits down on the edge of his bed and becomes extremely interested in the floor.

“Ehm,” James says. “I think Wormtail and I should go to… Ehm, well, not be here.”

After they’ve left, Remus hears Sirius scrape his throat. He jumps, as Sirius is standing much closer than he had expected. He looks up in Sirius’s eyes, and sees his nervousness.

“So,” Sirius says. “It seems like the girls are betting whether we’re going to the Yule Ball together?”

“So it seems indeed,” Remus replies with a nervous laugh.

Sirius runs a hand through his hair. “After McKinnon called me an arrogant twat during Quidditch practice, I’d hate to have her win the bet.”

“Do you now?” Remus asks with a smile. “You’d ask me to be your date just to spite McKinnon?”

“That,” Sirius says. “And also because I’ve allegedly been looking at you like a love sick puppy for years, and taking History of Magic notes, as it turns out, is not the best way to woo you. So what do you say?”

A happy, warm feeling spreads through Remus’s chest and he’s suddenly very glad for James and his stupid ideas and the girls and their dumb bets.

“If you don’t mind having a date whose IQ drops twenty points around you and who prioritizes ogling you over Potions essays?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	3. Break-Up and Make-Up

> **From second thoughts to first dates**

“Lily’s going to kill me.”

Sirius is sitting on the floor of his flat with his back leaning against the couch. Remus is sitting beside him, and a very drunk James is sitting across from them. Sirius and Remus are pleasantly buzzed, but James is positively wasted. They watched the final of the Quidditch World Cup together, and after James’s favourite team lost, went to the pub where he made use of the opportunity to drown his sorrows.

Now they’re back at Sirius’s flat, sitting on the floor eating grilled cheese. Living alone without house elves has proven to be very beneficial for Sirius’s grilled cheese-making skills.

“Nah,” Remus says, laying his head back against the couch and closing his eyes. “She’ll just let him suffer through his hangover tomorrow and then it’ll be fine.”

“He’s supposed to have lunch with Lily’s sister and her husband tomorrow,” Sirius sighs. “After the disaster of their first meeting, Lily was hoping he’d make a good impression this time.”

Remus opens one eye to look at James, who is currently dipping his grilled cheese in the glass of water Sirius gave him instead of his ketchup. “Yeah, that might be a problem.”

“Don’t care to make a good impression anyways,” James says, chewing on his soaked grilled cheese. “Pompous nitwits the both of them were.”

Remus smirks. “Is that why you went on a rant about the newest broom models and made the husband think you were mocking him?”

James points his grilled cheese at Remus, making wet crumbs fly in his face. “He started it! Puffed up buffoon bragging to me ‘bout his bloody... muggle wagon.”

“Still, you should act your best for Lily’s sake.”

James shakes his head. “No use. Doesn’t matter how I act, they’re determined to hate me, so they’ll hate me. Pointless, trying to impress them, absolutely pointless.”

Remus lays his head back down and Sirius focuses his attention on his own grilled cheese, while James keeps babbling on about how pointless it would be to try and be liked by Petunia and Vernon Dursley.

“Pointless, so very pointless. No point anywhere to found. One of the most pointless things in the world. Almost as pointless as...” James seems to wreck his brain to come up with something in the same category of pointlessness. “Your break-up!” He eventually says, waving his grilled cheese at Remus and Sirius.

Remus responds merely by giving James an exasperated look, and Sirius is proud of himself that, despite the sting in his heart, he manages not to react besides lifting one eyebrow. “Prongs, that still bothers you? It’s been three years.” Another sting in his heart. Has it really been three years already?

“Has it really been three years already?” James asks. “That makes it even more pointless! Three years and nothing’s changed.”

“Nothing’s changed?” Now Sirius can hardly keep the annoyance out of his voice. Three years since he last kissed Remus, three years since he last woke up next to Remus, three years since he last looked into Remus’s eyes and could think to himself ‘he’s mine’, three years since the world turned into a continuous numbness with just memories of happiness, but sure, nothing’s changed.

“Yes,” James says. “You’re still each other’s most important person in your life, you still look at each other _like that_ , and neither one of you has ever dated anyone else in these three years, so what’d you go and break up for?”

Sirius frowns. “Moony dated. That woman from work...”

James makes a dismissive gesture. “She was married, her husband was just abroad.”

“Not like that,” Remus quickly clarifies. “We just hung out as friends a couple of times, nothing happened between us.”

“Moony asked me to keep up the pretence, hoping that it would help you move on.” James lets out a laugh. “What a disaster that was! During that time, a bloke was chatting you up in the pub once, and Moony glared at him so intense I thought he was going to punch him!” James burst into a fit of giggles. “Remember, Moony? You were clutching your glass so hard, it shattered in your hand!”

While James keeps giggling, Remus gives him a look that gives Sirius a pretty good idea what that bloke in the pub must have endured.

James wipes the tears from his eyes. “I’m just saying, you could’ve saved me three years of dealing with jealousy, pining and fits of crying.”

Sirius flushes and grits his teeth. Drunk or not, James has no business letting Remus know how pathetic he’s been these last three years. “Don’t make Moony feel guilty about it, Prongs. He’s not obligated to be with me just for your comfort, so deal with it.”

James rolls his eyes. “I’d deal with it, if you’d have a good reason for the break-up.”

“What more of a reason do you need?” Sirius is now seriously annoyed. “When one person is not in love with the other anymore, there’s nothing else you can do but break-up. That’s just life, and yes, it sucks, but it happens, and it’s no one’s fault.”

James, however, insists on being stubborn. “I would accept that reason. So, let me put it this way: if one of you can look me in the eyes and tell me that he’s not in love with the other anymore, I’ll drop the topic forever and I’ll never bring it up again.”

Sirius pinches the bridge of his nose and decides to just accept his faith. “Moony, just tell him.”

Startled, Remus jerks his head up, from where he was intently studying a loose thread on his jumper. “What? Why?”

Sirius glances at him. “Because I don’t know about you, but I’m not particularly enjoying this conversation. I’d rather get this over with as soon as possible.”

“Yeah, okay,” Remus says. “Why me then?”

“Because that was the exact reason you broke up with me three years ago!”

“We could just wait till he’s sober,” Remus mutters.

“I want to get this over with, so please, just say it,” Sirius says frustrated.

“I just don’t know if we should indulge his drunken demands.”

Sirius now really loses his patience. “Moony, just tell Prongs you broke up with me because you weren’t in love with me anymore!”

“Yes, Moony,” James says in a mocking tone, and Merlin, Sirius could actually strangle him right now. “Tell me you broke up with Padfoot because you weren’t in love with him anymore.”

Remus just gives James an angry look.

Sirius sighs. “Look, Moons. If you’re worried about hurting my feelings, it’s fine. I already know, have known for the last three years. Hearing you say it now isn’t going to kill me.”

Remus opens and closes his mouth, and then stares down at his sleeve again, looking miserable.

“Moony,” Sirius says. “Why can’t you just tell him-”

“Cause Moony’s a terrible liar!” James interjects. “He can’t get the words over his lips, especially not in front of you.”

Sirius shakes his head and can’t quite keep the bitterness out of his voice. “He had no trouble saying it three years ago, so why would it be a problem now?”

Remus’s head snaps up to look at Sirius. “I never said I wasn’t in love with you anymore three years ago!” He flushes bright red and looks away again. “What I said was-”

“I know what you said!” Sirius interrupts. Like he’d ever forget the words that made his entire world come crumbling down. “You said you wanted to end things between us, because you didn’t want to be with me anymore. Why else would you not want to be with me anymore?”

“It’s because of the werewolf thiiiiing!” James shouts, making Remus and Sirius flinch.

“What?” Sirius asks, confused. “No, that can’t be. It can’t be because of the werewolf thing. I’ve never once made an issue of that.”

“That was exactly the problem!” Remus snaps. “You acting like it was nothing. You didn’t understand how much it would affect you, how much it would affect your whole life. You didn’t comprehend-”

“I comprehended just fine!” Sirius says, raising his voice in anger. “I comprehended all of it! I comprehended that we’d never have much money, as you’ll never be able to get a steady, decent job, I comprehended that we’d never be able to live in one place for too long, as eventually it’ll raise suspicion, I comprehended that there’d be parts of society we’ll always be left out of, due to prejudice and stigma. I did _comprehend_ , I just didn’t _care_ , and that’s a difference!”

“How?” Remus stares at him in utter disbelief. “How could you not-”

“Because I fucking _loved_ you!” Sirius shouts. “I’d have given up everything for you.”

Remus shakes his head. “Then you must understand how, for that exact same reason, I couldn’t let you do that.”

“That was never your decision to make,” Sirius hisses. “It was mine! And I had decided long ago that it’d be you, no matter what.”

Remus stares at him again, and Sirius can hardly bear to see the emotions in his eyes. Emotions he can’t figure out. For a moment, he thinks Remus will get angry, but then he falls back against the couch and crosses his arms in front of his chest. “You tell him then. Tell him how I screwed everything up, and how you’re completely over me now and couldn’t possibly love me anymore.”

“Merlin, Remus, you’re such an idiot!”

Now Remus glares at him. “You’ve told me on multiple occasions how you’ve gotten over me.”

“Because I thought you had a good reason for breaking up with me!” Sirius replies. “I thought you had a good reason, and I didn’t want to make you feel guilty by letting you know how much of a fucking mess I still am, and how much I fucking _miss_ you every day, even when we’re bloody together!”

“What are you saying?” Remus asks, voice suddenly trembling. “Are you saying that you’re not over me?”

“Are you saying that you didn’t fall out of love with me?”

Remus just stares at Sirius and Sirius just stares at Remus. He has no idea how to proceed, or how to go back. Back to half an hour ago or back to three years ago, he doesn’t even know.

They only come out of their contemplation by a drunken James loudly breaking the silence. “Still haven’t heard any reasooooons!”

Sirius apparates at a safe distance from the Potters’ home and starts dragging James towards his front door.

“Padderfootsie,” James mumbles. “D’you know how many werewolves have families? Of their own? So partners, not parents? I mean, I assume they all have parents, right? Where else would they come from? They don’t just shoot out of the floor.” James starts giggling again. “Can you imagine?”

“Prongs, please, I-”

“Zero!” James exclaims. “None whatsoever! It’s never been done! Too much weirdness about starting families when it comes to “dark creatures”.” He almost sticks Sirius’s eye out at the air quotes he makes around “dark creatures”.

Sirius doesn’t respond, so James continues. “Moony can’t just fall head over heels in love and fully throw himself into it with his whole being, without any doubts, like you and I can. Not with each other, of course. With Remus and Lily. Remus or Lily. Not both. Well both, but you know, one for each. You Remus, me Lily.”

Sirius really wants to get James inside as soon as possible, but James wiggles himself free from his grip to face him, and grabs his shoulders. “I know how much he has hurt you, _I know_. All I'm saying is, it’s different for Moony, but that doesn’t mean he loves you any less.”

“Merlin, Prongs.” Sirius swallows against a sudden lump in his throat. “I don’t know anymore if I never want you to get this drunk again, or wish that you’d gotten this drunk three years ago.”

Lily slams open the door and stalks into Sirius’s flat.

“Why, good day to you, Lilyflower.”

“Don’t you ‘Lilyflower’ me, Black,” Lily snarls.

Sirius rolls his eyes. “Aren’t you a ray of sunshine this afternoon.”

“Yes,” Lily says sarcastically, while taking a Butterbeer out of the fridge. “Waking up to find your husband knocked out on the couch really does wonders for your mood.”

“Well, you should be thanking me for the fact that he even was on the couch, instead of in a ditch somewhere.”

Lily swallows down a gulp of Butterbeer without breaking eye contact. “I would have preferred the ditch.”

Lily flops down on the couch with her drink and eyes Sirius for a while. “What are you doing?” She asks, after watching him pull on a fancy shirt and fixing his hair in front of the mirror.

“I got a date,” Sirius simply says.

Lily chokes on her next sip. “A...” She coughs a few times. “A date? You haven’t had a date since- in a long time.” She studies Sirius’s face, noting how, despite his efforts to look composed, he’s brimming with excitement. “That’s... That’s good, Pads. I’m happy for you.”

There’s a knock on the door.

Lily, not curious at all, turns around on the couch so she can watch the door as Sirius opens. Her eyes widen, and she can’t help how a small gasp escapes her lips, when she sees Remus Lupin standing there. He’s wearing his best slacks and his nicest jumper, and has even styled his hair. Lily looks with astonishment at the boys nervously staring and smiling at each other, dressed to the nines and well-groomed, like they didn’t eat pizza from the floor of Remus’s flat wearing stained sweatpants after not showering for days just the week before.

“Hi,” Remus says.

“Hi,” Sirius says.

“Hi!” Lily shouts.

Remus jumps, only now realising Lily is in the room. He blushes furiously and runs a hand through his previously well-groomed hair. “Oh, Lils, hi. I didn’t see you there. How are you? Is Prongs still alive?”

“Yes,” Lily replies solemnly. “I’m waiting for him to be sober enough before I kill him.” She gestures with her bottle between the two boys. “So what’s this? Are you two picking things up again?”

“No,” Sirius says hesitantly. “We’re more like... starting over?” A smile appears on his face with such genuine happiness as Lily hasn’t seen on him in... what? Three years? “This is our first date!” He adds.

Lily can’t help but smile back at him, bad mood almost forgotten.

“Well,” Sirius says. “We’ll better get going. There’re some left-over pumpkin pastries in the fridge, and there’s stuff for grilled cheese, but try not to burn anything this time.”

“Right,” Lily says. “You boys have fun then!”

After the door closes behind them, Lily turns around and slides back down on the couch. A huge grin spreads across her face. It’s been a long three years for all of them, but maybe, just maybe, all will be right with the world again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	4. Halloween Get-Together

> **Self-fulfilling rumours**

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

Remus looks up from his book to see a rather angry-looking Sirius glaring at him from the doorway, arms crossed over his chest.

“You all have calendars yourselves,” Remus replies calmly, focussing his attention back on his book.

Sirius rolls his eyes as he walks into the room. “Well, we obviously didn’t realise, so why didn’t you remind us then?”

Remus sighs and puts down his book. “It’s your favourite night of the year. You were already so excited. What’s the point of me putting a damper on the fun?”

“Well, it could’ve saved Jamie and I the trouble of coming up with our costumes...”

“You’re going to the Halloween party,” Remus says firmly.

Halloween and the annual Halloween party is one of James’ and Sirius’ favourite time of the year. Eating nothing but candy all day, pulling an extra amount of pranks under the excuse of trick ‘n treating, and always having the best costumes. If it were anybody else, people might have made fun of them for dressing up in over the top and matching, but when James and Sirius do it, it’s cool, which goes for about everything.

“Moony,” Sirius says frowning. “Of course we’re not going to the Halloween party this year if the full moon is that night.”

“Sirius,” Moony sighs. “I’m not gonna let all of you miss out on something you were so looking forward to on my account.” Sirius opens his mouth to protest, but Remus keeps talking. “Besides, I can’t leave the shack on the night of Halloween anyways. Much too dangerous, with people out and about trick ‘n treating or going on ghost tours. So there’s really no need for you to miss the party.”

“But when you’re in there alone...”

“I’ve handled it on my own for many years,” Remus smiles in a way he hopes looks more convincing than he feels. “I can handle one night more, so you can enjoy yourselves.”

“Stop talking like it’s a sacrifice for us!” Sirius says. “We love our nights during the full, it’s the highlight of the month.”

“When we can go out,” Remus chuckles. “Not when you’ll be obligated to spend the night in a small space with a cranky werewolf, while you could’ve been getting drunk on illegally obtained Firewhiskey and eating your weight in candy.”

Sirius stares at him for a while. Then he sighs. “I won’t argue with you then.”

As Remus sits alone and cold on the floor of the Shrieking Shack, feeling as miserable as always so close to the full moon, he starts to regret being so firm to Sirius. In reality, he dreads transforming on his own, and letting the wolf take out his aggression on himself.

“Wotcher, Moony.”

Remus can’t suppress his smile as Sirius casually walks into the room. “What happened to ‘I won’t argue with you’?”

Sirius shrugs as he sits down in front of Remus. “I didn’t argue with you, now did I? I decided to save us the trouble, and just do what I wanted anyway.”

Remus knows he should tell Sirius to go back to the castle and enjoy the party, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He’s too relieved to have Padfoot with him for this night.

“Won’t Prongs mind that he won’t have you in your prisoner of Azkaban costume to accompany his Dementor costume?”

“Nah,” Sirius says. “I let Wormtail take my place. He was delighted.”

“I really don’t want to keep you from what you love so much...” Remus tries one last time.

“You are what I-” Sirius stops himself and sighs. “I mean, I don’t want to be anywhere else, Moony.” Then he smiles. “Why would I want to hang out with fake werewolves all night when I have the real thing right here?”

Remus launches himself forward and hugs Sirius tight, relief washing over him. “Thank you,” he whispers.

The full moon isn’t as bad with Padfoot there to calm the wolf, even if they have to stay locked inside the entire night. Despite some slowly healing scars and the usual painful muscles, he’s able to make his way around the castle again not too long after. In the library, one of the Prewett twins drops down in the chair in front of him.

“Hi Gid,” Remus greets. “How are you? How was the Halloween party? I heard you and Fabian didn’t bothered with costumes and just said you were dressed up as each other.”

Gideon grins. “Yeah, it was definitely fun. But not as much fun as your night has been, or so I’ve heard.”

Remus blinks at Gideon who’s looking back with a suggestive grin. Remus knows Gideon cannot be referring to what he actually did that night, as he definitely wouldn’t use the word ‘fun’, nor would he be smiling at him like that. If he knew, he probably wouldn’t be talking to him anymore at all, though admittedly, Remus has been wrong about that before. Remus realises that he has no idea what excuse James has given for his absence. Attempting to stay as vague as possible, until he can check with James, Remus says “Yeah, well, you know how it is, right?”

Gideon throws his head back and laughs. “I honestly can’t say I do, Lupin. But I can say that I’ve sometimes wished I did,” he adds with a wink, before leaving for his next class, leaving behind a very confused Remus.

“I am never talking to you again.”

Remus doesn’t take this threat too serious, as Lily just ran up to him and hooked her arm in his.

“You have affronted me, Remus Lupin.”

Remus raises an eyebrow. “Did I now?”

“Oh, yes,” Lily says. “I’m not terribly surprised, as I’ve had my suspicions, but having to hear it from Potter!” Lily shakes her head. “So, what’s the deal? Is it, for lack of a better word, serious?”

“I...” Remus says hesitantly. “Am not sure?”

“Right,” Lily says nodding. “I guess these things can be complicated. Just know that as long as you’re happy, I’m happy for you.”

Remus starts noticing how people are, not even subtly, staring at him and talking about him. He sees lots of giggling and the occasional angry glare, but also suggestive smirks, winks and even a couple of thumbs up. Remus feels very much at a loss.

When Benjy Fenwick passes him in the corridor, he turns around to Remus. “Nice job, Lupin. From what I’ve seen in the Quidditch locker room, I can only say congratulations.”

When he tells Marlene he’s sorry he missed the party, she snorts. “Like hell you are, Lupin.” And then with a smirk “I trust you had a very _pleasing_ evening?” And when Remus, caught off guard, stammers that he supposes it was quite satisfying, she bursts out in laughter.

Mary just runs up to him and gives him an overly-excited hug, saying that she’s super invested in it already.

Remus walks into the common room over to where James and Sirius are sitting. “Prongs, a word in the dorm please. Padfoot, you come too.”

James looks very guilty as he enters the dorm. “I’m sorry!” He immediately says. “I panicked, and I couldn’t come up with anything else in that moment. I didn’t expect every person in school to be talking about it.”

Remus pinches the bridge of his nose. “What exactly is everyone talking about?”

“Well,” James runs a hand through his hair, before speaking in a rushed voice. “People asked why you weren’t at the party, so I said you were sick, but McKinnon found it hard to believe that suddenly both of you were sick and she wanted to go up to our dorm to confront you, ‘cause she ‘wasn’t gonna let you skip on the party of the year that easily’, and before I knew it she was walking up the stairs and I had to think of something, as neither one of you was of course actually in our dorm, to convince McKinnon she really shouldn’t enter our dorm that evening, so, and like I said, panicking, I said that you two were... you know.”

Sirius’ eyes widen. “You told McKinnon we were _shagging_?”

“No,” James says defensively before turning his head away and softly muttering “I shouted through the common room that you were shagging.”

Remus flushes as he remembers all the looks and conversations from that morning. He hides his face in his hands and drops down on the bed. He’s vaguely aware of Sirius telling James through gritted teeth to give him a moment with Remus to talk about what to do, and not long after, he feels Sirius sit down next to him on the bed.

Remus tries to compose himself. “So this is of course terribly embarrassing,” he says, and notices how Sirius looks away with a strange expression on his face. “But I suppose I rather have people talk about me for hooking up with you, than have people talk about me for being a vile, vicious monster.”

“I’m glad people thinking you’re hooking up with me is just slightly better than people thinking you’re a monster,” Sirius replies bitterly.

Remus frowns. “I didn’t mean it like that.” Sirius stays silent, so Remus continues. “For Godric’s sake, how in Merlin’s name Prongs came up with that? And for people to actually believe something so ridiculous!”

Sirius now snaps his eyes back to Remus’ face with an angry glare, and Remus has the feeling he’s really screwing up, but doesn’t know exactly _what_ he’s screwing up.

“I suppose the idea that you’d hook up with me is absolutely ridiculous,” Sirius says with something like suppressed anger and hurt.

“Well, yeah,” Remus replies, not understanding this reaction. “Everyone knows that you’re way out off my league.”

“What?” Sirius asks incredulously. “I am no such thing!”

“Please,” Remus says, making a dismissive gesture. “You can literally pick anyone you want, why in Merlin’s name would you pick me?”

“Because you’re clever and kind? Because you have a sharp wit and a wicked sense of humour? Because you have pretty eyes that light up when you laugh or read a book and a cute smile, especially when you do that adorable nose wrinkle-thing? Because you know exactly how to comfort me and make me feel better about myself?”

How Remus wishes he was better at this sort of thing, how he wishes he’d have the exact right words to describe how much he admires Sirius and the feeling it gives him when Sirius’ eyes meet his and he gives him one if those small smiles, but all he manages to say is “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Sirius sounds defeated. “Look, I’m sorry that these rumours bother you so much. I wish I could make it better for you, but I don’t know...”

As he speaks, Sirius moves to get up from the bed, but Remus grabs his wrist. “You could make it better for me.”

Sirius sits back down and stares at Remus, and now it’s his turn to mutter the eloquent “Oh.”

Remus nervously licks his lips and shifts a little closer to Sirius. “I’d feel much better about these rumours if there was at least some truth in them.”

Sirius swallows and shifts a little closer to Remus. “Yeah, I hate that Prongs had to lie for us.”

Having him so close, Remus musters his courage and places one hand on Sirius’ waist. “Precisely. I don’t like fooling Lily about it either.”

Sirius places a tentative hand on Remus’ cheek. “It’d be indeed much better for them if there was some truth to it.”

Remus leans into his touch. “And so many people seemed really excited about it.”

Sirius also leans in a little closer, and Remus can feel his breath on his lips as he speaks. “It’d be such a shame to disappoint them.”

“Yeah,” Remus whispers before letting his eyes fall shut and closing the last bit of distance. “Such a shame.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	5. Post-Azkaban Angst

> **I wish I could miss you**

Remus sets down the mug in front of Sirius. Sirius doesn’t look up. He’s staring ahead in the distance, but Remus doesn’t think he’s actually seeing anything. Or maybe he’s seeing too much. Remus can’t tell these days. The times where he used to know exactly what Sirius was thinking with just a single glance are far behind them.

“I don’t feel guilty about it anymore, you know,” Sirius suddenly says.

Remus doesn’t respond.

“Hardly remembering you, I mean.”

“I don’t suppose you should. It wasn’t a choice.” Remus voice sounds flat. Emotionless. Like he has felt every emotion in excessive amounts. Anger at Sirius’ betrayal, happiness at discovering his innocence, fear and relief for his safety, hurt at finding out Sirius forgot, not even about him, but about _them_ , and eventually the unrepentant pain of losing Sirius yet again. Now, he has nothing left to feel. Just numbness. Remus doesn’t know what he prefers.

“The Dementors,” Sirius says, and now Remus looks up. They have talked about before, they have talked about after, but they have never talked about those twelve years in between.

“Their only purpose is to suck it out off you, everything that’s good, pure, comforting, happy.” Sirius keeps staring in the distance while he speaks. “I remember everything from my childhood at Grimmauld place, as there was never much comfort there. I remember Prongs and Lily vividly, as every memory of them is tainted with guilt and pain. I remember Peter. Of course I remember Peter. I cannot think of him without feeling hurt and betrayal. But you...”

Sirius now turns his head to look at Remus. His eyes are the same shade of grey they’ve always been. The shade of grey Remus can picture in his dreams. But there used to be a sparkle there. Sometimes of unbridled excitement, sometimes of mischief. That sparkle is gone now, and Remus knows for good.

Sirius focuses on Remus’ face. “I hardly remember you.”

Remus says nothing. What is there to say? He thought he would envy Sirius, but he realises that he doesn’t.

He remembers a sixteen year-old Sirius, blushing and staring down at his feet, while asking Remus if he wanted to go to Hogsmeade with him, talking so fast Remus could hardly make out the words. He remembers laughing fondly, shaking his head, and saying of course, they always all go together, don’t they? He remembers walking away to their table in the Great Hall, but Sirius shouting after him for the whole hall to hear ‘I meant as a date!’. He remembers turning around and meeting Sirius’ gaze, nervous, but determined and sincere, and his whole world, his every thought and feeling, suddenly slotting into place. He remembers brushing his fingers against Sirius’ hand while they were walking through the snow together, and the surge of happiness he felt when Sirius firmly clasped their hands together. He remembers trying to muster up his courage on top of the Astronomy Tower, only to have Sirius, ever so brave, beat him to it, and kiss him for the first time. He remembers Sirius sneaking into his bed at night, nuzzling his nose in his neck and whispering ‘I love you’. He remembers waking up in Sirius’ arms in their new flat for the first time. He remembers Sirius decorating said flat with a ridiculous amount of pictures of him, and him flat out refusing to invite anybody over until at least half of them were taken down. He remembers the mistletoe Sirius hung all around the house for their first Christmas together in their new home, like he still needed an excuse to kiss him. He remembers dancing with Sirius at Lily and James’ wedding, drunk on alcohol, happiness and love. He remembers Sirius saying he’s heard a weird rumour that fateful October night, and that he’ll go over to Godric’s Hollow to check up on Prongs, Lily and Harry. He remembers Sirius giving him a quick kiss and promising him he’ll be back soon.

Each memory makes him want to rip his shattered heart out off his chest, but he wouldn’t trade with Sirius if he could. He wouldn’t loose those memories for the world.

“Though it pains me that I wasn’t able to hold on to even the memory of you,” Sirius says. “In some way it’s a consolation, to know that at that time there was at least one thing I associated with nothing but pure goodness, comfort and happiness.”

“I miss you,” Remus says before he’s even aware he’s saying it. “I miss you so much.”

Sirius looks back at him with his sunken and hollow eyes. Empty. “I wish I could miss you too.”

And Remus’ heart breaks. It surprises him that there’s even enough left of it to break.

“But I don’t feel guilty about it anymore,” Sirius repeats. “After all, in a place that’s made to take away all that you love, what chance did I have at keeping you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about this one...  
> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	6. Sirius Crashes On the Couch, Remus Pines

> **Stupid perfection**

“I’m going to tell Sirius he needs to find another place to crash,” James informs his roommate gravely.

Remus looks up, startled. “What? Why?”

“Come on, Remus. You don’t have to pretend. I know you don’t like him.”

“Don’t like him?” Remus repeats, genuinely confused.

“Yes,” James says. “It’s quite obvious. You’ve been acting snippy towards him from the moment you met him.”

Oh, Remus had indeed been quite pissed off the moment he met Sirius. He had woken up, staggered into the living room, wearing his old pyjama bottoms filled with holes and his most hideous jumper, hair pointing up in all directions, and he wouldn’t be surprised if he still had some drool on his chin, and there he was. Tall, fit, wearing a leather jacket, long dark hair tied up in a high pony tail, bright eyes and a charming smile. Remus died a little.

James had talked about his new friend quite a lot. A guy who studied computer science with him, a brilliant student, insanely smart, who could do unbelievable things with a computer. When James had asked Remus if his friend could crash on their couch for a bit, as the situation between him and his parents had apparently gotten very bad and he needed to leave their house as soon as possible, Remus had no problem with it. This, however, was not what he had imagined.

So yes, Remus had been pissed. Pissed that James hadn’t given him a heads up that the guy who would be sleeping in his living room for the upcoming weeks looked like the actual personification of his every fantasy.

When the guy, Sirius, had come up to Remus with a greeting smile, hand outstretched, looking handsome in a way real-life people have absolutely no business of looking, Remus had done the only thing he could think of. He turned around, walked back into his room and slammed the door behind him.

“You’re one of the most friendly persons I know. You chat with everyone,” James continues. “But to Sirius you barely say a word! And when he talks to you, you hardly say anything back. You retreat to your room all the time, you avoid being alone with him at all costs...”

Its true.

Remus’ brain just stops functioning when he’s around Sirius. It gets stuck in a loop of ‘arms, chest, muscles, hot, smile, eyes, pretty’, and his best way to prevent himself from making a fool of himself, is by avoiding Sirius as much as possible.

Now Remus is convinced that, would Sirius have had the decency of being an arrogant asshole as people as good-looking as him ought to be, he would’ve gotten over his infatuation pretty quick. But no. Of bloody course, besides being insanely smart and insanely handsome, Sirius has the audacity of being insanely kind as well. He has thanked Remus for letting him sleep on their couch about a hundred times, he asks Remus how his day was and how his studies are going, and if that wasn’t infuriating enough, he bloody makes breakfast for James and Remus every morning. When Remus overhears him joke around with James and finds out he’s actually funny as well, he has just about had it with Sirius and his stupid perfection.

But he supposes Sirius isn’t torturing him with his presence on purpose, and he doesn’t deserve to be kicked out by James.

“James,” Remus begins. “You really don’t have to-”

“No,” James holds up his hand. “This is your house too, and you were right when you said that me forcing you to live with Sirius isn’t fair.”

Remus frowns. “When did I say that?”

“Yesterday,” James replies. “You were trying to write a paper at the kitchen table, remember? And Sirius was doing his stretching exercises in the living room. You couldn’t focus and you were glaring at Sirius with your jaw clenched. Then you growled ‘Why are you doing this to me? This isn’t fair’, before storming off to your bedroom.”

Remus clearly remembers how he had quickly given up on his paper on the pros and cons of using nuclear energy to reduce carbon dioxide emission when Sirius, wearing tight gym pants and a loose T-shirt, started sprawling his body out on the floor in all kinds of positions right in front of him.

Remus pinches the bridge of his nose. “No, James, I didn’t mean...”

“You don’t have to apologise, Remus,” James says. “You’re not obligated to like Sirius. I admit, I was hoping you two would get along, but I guess he’s just not your kind of person, and that’s fine.” James sighs. “Maybe I should have known that you two living together would be a bad idea.”

Remus arches an eyebrow feeling a bit insulted. “How so?”

“Well, you’re... set in your ways,” James says. “You like to have things neat and organized, and Sirius, he’s all over the place. So I guess I can understand how his behaviour annoys you.”

“What behaviour has annoyed me?” Remus asks, having no clue what James is referring to.

“When he comes home from his daily run, for instance,” James says. “And he’s all flushed and sweaty, and he just takes off his soaked shirt in the middle of the living room. You always glare at him when he does that! Last time you even murmured ‘You’ve got to be kidding me. What did I do to deserve this?’, so it obviously rouses you.”

Remus’ cheeks heat up. Well, he guesses he can’t deny that being faced with a dishevelled Sirius taking his shirt of in front of him every day does... _rouse_ him.

“Or how he forgets to take a towel out of the linen closet when he goes to take a shower all the time,” James continues. “And then he has to cross the room dripping wet, leaving water drops everywhere. I saw the frustration on your face last time.”

Yes, Remus had been frustrated. Very, very frustrated. Probably in a different way than James thinks, though.

“Or that time Sirius didn’t know what to wear, and he-”

“James!” Remus stops him. “Please. I don’t dislike Sirius. I really don’t.”

“But you-”

“I’m attracted to him, okay?”

“You... what?”

Remus sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “When you asked me if your computer science friend could stay with us for a bit, I was not prepared to have an are-you-even-real kind of handsome man to suddenly be living on my couch!”

“I...” James stammers. “I guess he’s a fit bloke?”

“Are you kidding me?” Remus just throws it all out there now. “If I had to describe my dream guy it would be him. No, it would be less than him, because my imagination isn’t good enough to come up with him!”

James blinks. “You really got it bad, don’t you?”

Remus groans, and let his head fall back against the couch. “James, how am I supposed to function with the hottest guy I’ve ever seen padding around my apartment half naked?”

“So, what you’re saying is,” James says, gathering his thoughts. “The reason why you barely say a word to him, run away to your room all the time, hardly eat anything when he makes us breakfast, is because you’re totally into him?”

“I’m a simple man and I was living a simple life,” Remus says. “Each morning I’d get out of bed, throw on a jumper, stagger into the kitchen and eat a bowl of stale cornflakes. And now, all of the sudden, there’s a gorgeous man in my kitchen baking me pancakes every morning, _shirtless_. How am I supposed to cope with that, James? How?”

James chuckles, and Remus groans again. “Why does he have to be shirtless all the bloody time?”

Now James bursts out laughing, and Remus glares at him. “My life is a joke to you.”

James wipes tears out of his eyes. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry! So, do you want him to move out then?”

“No!” Remus says. “We’re keeping him.”

James gives him an evil grin. “Do you want me to ask him to wear a shirt at breakfast from now on?”

Remus throws a pillow at his head. “Don’t you dare!”

Remus is laying on his bed reading a book when there’s a soft knock on the door. He looks up to see Sirius standing in the doorway, hands in his pockets and a hesitant smile on his face.

“Hi.”

Remus wants to say hi back, but then Sirius runs a hand through his hair, and his brain malfunctions.

Eventually, Sirius just continues. “So I talked to James...”

Remus sits up. “What did he say?”

“Not much to be honest. He only said that you were okay with me staying, but I really wanted to check with you myself?” Sirius sits down on the edge of Remus’ bed.

“Yeah,” Remus says. “It’s fine, really.”

“Are you sure?” Sirius asks earnestly. “It’s your home, and I honestly won’t blame you if you want me out. I can be a bit much. I’ve been told plenty of times that I can be a bit much. I’d understand if you don’t want that around you. I’m honestly surprised James still wants me around.” Sirius lets out a little laugh, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“No,” Remus quickly says. “I mean, yes. I mean, I want you around.” Remus runs a hand over his face. “Look, Sirius, I know I’ve been acting like an arse to you, but I promise I don’t dislike you. I really don’t.”

Sirius looks at him for a moment with his bright eyes, then he nods. “Alright then. Okay.”

Remus sighs. “You must think I’m a horrible person.”

“I think you’re brilliant!” Sirius says, and Remus looks at him with surprise.

Sirius is staring at him intently. “James told me you work two jobs to pay for your studies, but still manage to find time to plant trees, clean up litter from the woods, or protest against the use of fossil fuels. And I overheard you discuss the government’s environmental policy with Lily, and you’re so passionate! I love hearing your enthusiasm when you’re standing up for what you believe in! The way you loose yourself in an argument, the way your eyes lit up when you’re talking... The same way they do when you’re reading a good book, curled up in a chair in one of those adorable jumpers-”

Sirius stops himself talking. Remus stares at him with wide eyes.

Sirius flushes bright red and scrambles off the bed. “I, eh, I should go.” He turns to leave the room.

“Sirius!” Remus calls before giving himself time to think. Sirius turns around in the doorway.

“Would... Would you maybe like to have dinner some time? Together?” Remus’ voice sounds shaky.

Sirius smiles again, and this one definitely reaches his eyes. “Yes, I’d really like that.”

As soon as Sirius has left his room, Remus lets himself fall back onto his bed. He’s in so much trouble. Sirius Black is going to be the death of him. But what a way to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	7. Remus Clashes with Sirius’ Parents

> **Far from the tree**

To: Lily Evans

**Lily, my time has come. Please remember me fondly.**

_Dramatic much, Lupin?_

**No, Lily. My life is genuinely over.**

_Okay, spill. How so?_

**Remember that guy I’ve been dating?**

_Mmm, let me think. The tall, fit one with the long, soft, dark hair, pretty eyes and broad shoulders, whom you’ve told me about approximately ten thousand times a day?_

_Yeah, I believe that does ring a bell._

**Well, you can forget about him again.**

**He’s on his way over here to dump me as we speak.**

_What? No! Why?_

**I met his parents yesterday...**

_Remmie! That’s a huge step!_

_I didn’t know things were so serious between you two?_

**Things were seriously serious with Sirius!**

_Ah, but I gather from your first message it didn’t go very well?_

**It didn’t.**

_Oh, Remmie, you’re probably being too hard on yourself._

_It’s always stressful to meet the parents. I’m sure they’ll understand if you were a bit awkward._

**I called his father a narrow-minded bonehead whose imbecile opinions belong in the Middle Ages.**

_..._

_Yeah. Yeah, okay. That’s... That’s bad._

_Remus, why?!_

**Because apparently I’m an idiot who has a good thing going and just has to find a way to ruin it for himself.**

_What did he say?_

**He drove me home and it was so awkward...**

**I was so embarrassed for causing such a scene at his bloody parents house, I fled inside as fast as I could, without really speaking to him (yes, I admit, I’m a coward).**

**I texted you right after I got a message from him just now, saying he’s on his way over, because ‘he needs to talk to me’...**

_Yikes._

_Okay. Okay, maybe... If his family really is so narrow-minded, maybe you dogged the bullet?_

**He seems nothing like them, though. I really can’t believe those people raised him.**

_Well, you wouldn’t say me and my sister were raised by the same people, so I guess strange things happen._

_But Remus,_

_Know that if he breaks up with you because you don’t get along with his stupid parents, he doesn’t deserve you anyway!_

**Normally, I’d agree. But I don’t know if that still goes when you call someone’s mother ‘a vicious old hag, whose arrogance is only equal to her stupidity’.**

_..._

_Remus!_

_What the hell happened there?!_

**Oh my God, he’s here!**

**These are officially my last moments of dating a way out of my league-guy.**

**Well, I guess it was nice as long as it lasted. Might as well get it over with.**

_I’m so sorry, Remus. I know you really liked this one..._

_Stay strong! I’ll have the chocolate ready!_

With a sigh, Remus tosses his phone to the side and stands to get the door. Might as well get it over with, right?

When he opens the door to reveal Sirius, the positive thing is that Sirius doesn’t immediately begin yelling at him. He doesn’t even look all that angry, really. He just gives Remus a small, uncertain smile.

The negative thing is that Sirius looks bloody gorgeous. He’s wearing an elegant coat, with a scarf loosely draped around his long neck and his hair is hanging loose. Before today, this would definitely be considered a positive thing, but not when Remus is just minutes away from getting dumped by this ridiculously handsome man. There should really be a rule against looking this good when you’re breaking up with someone, Remus thinks bitterly as he steps aside to let Sirius in his apartment.

As Sirius unbuttons his coat to reveal a fitted shirt showing off his lean, muscular form, Remus can only conclude that he has really been fooling himself by thinking this could ever last.

He shakes his head to stop himself from ogling his soon to be-ex-boyfriend. “Would you like something to drink?” He asks, trying to sound composed.

“No thank you,” Sirius replies. “I’d rather get this off my chest immediately.”

Remus doesn’t reply and stares at his feet to brace himself for the inevitable blow.

“I suppose you know why I’m here?” Sirius asks, sounding a bit nervous.

Remus wonders vaguely if Sirius is concerned about hurting his feelings, even after his horrible behaviour of yesterday. “Yeah,” he whispers. “I do.”

Sirius takes a deep breath. “Maybe I shouldn’t have come, but I just had to at least tell you how sorry I am, even if you want nothing to do with me anymore.”

Remus just stares at him, trying to puzzle together what Sirius just said. He’s sorry... about having to break up with Remus? But shouldn’t he lead with the break up? And why would it be up to Remus to want nothing to do with him? Remus is not in a state of mind to deal with this. Can’t Sirius just dump him already?

Sirius is getting more nervous as Remus continues to just stare at him. “So I guess I just... offer you my apologies, and it’s up to you whether you want to accept them.”

“You’re apologizing?” Remus asks.

Sirius nods.

“ _You_ are apologizing to _me_?”

Another nod.

“You to me?”

“Yes, Remus,” Sirius says, sounding distraught. “But don’t worry, I don’t expect anything from you. I know I don’t have the right, after the situation I put you in.”

“I called your father an ignorant idiot who should shove his prejudiced opinions up his arse!”

Sirius frowns, like he doesn’t understand why Remus would consider that an issue. “My father _is_ an ignorant idiot who should shove his prejudiced opinions up his arse.”

“No! I mean, well... yes, but I’m not supposed to _say_ so, right?”

Sirius shrugs. “They had it coming, didn’t they? I’m not gonna make excuses for them. I was just hoping you might still want to give us a chance?”

“Your parents hate me!” Remus splutters.

Sirius lets out a laugh. “Thank God. If they’d liked you, I seriously had to reconsider our relationship.”

Remus blinks at him.

Sirius runs a hand through his hair. “Let me explain. My parents,” he speaks slowly now. “Are awful people. Like, really awful people. I shouldn’t have given in when they demanded to meet you, or I should have at least told you what they’re like. I’m so sorry I put you in that situation and exposed you to them without so much as a warning. I can understand if you hate me right now.”

“Why didn’t you warn me?” Remus asks, as he would’ve much rather been spared the anxiety he has been feeling all day.

Sirius shrugs again. “I suppose I wanted you to form you own opinion? As their son, I’m of course biased to hate them.”

Remus opens his mouth to say that is _not_ how a parent-child relationship is supposed to work, but Sirius keeps talking.

“Look, Remus. You didn’t sign up for dealing with my horrible parents, and I’m sorry I dragged you into it. My family is... messed up, and I can understand if you want nothing to do with that whole mess. I won’t blame you if you just want to stay away from me and my family issues.”

“I...”

I’ll do a whole lot more than deal with crappy parents if it means I get to be with you, Remus wants to say. I won’t judge you based on who your parents are, Remus wants to say. I won’t just abandon you, Remus wants to say.

What he says instead is “I purposely spilled a glass of red wine over your mother’s new couch!”

Sirius looks at him with a fond smile. “Yeah, just when I thought I couldn’t love you more.”

Sirius doesn’t seem to realise what he just said, but Remus’ eyes widen. “You... love me?”

Sirius flushes and starts stammering. “Oh God, I’m sorry! Not that I love you. I mean, look at you. How could I not? But that’s way too soon, isn’t it? And this is the worst timing! I mean, you’re probably super angry with me, and I don’t even know if you still want to see me...”

“I don’t mind!” Remus quickly says. “I mean, I think I rather like that you love me? I think I’m very much starting to feel the same way?”

Sirius looks at him with a hopeful expression. “You do?”

Remus chuckles. “Come here,” he says as he pulls Sirius towards him. “For you, I’d throw my wine over any piece of furniture your mother might own any day.”

Sirius smiles as he leans in to kiss Remus. “In that case, can’t wait till Christmas.”

_Remus? How bad is it?_

_Will regular milk do, or is this a triple chocolate with chocolate chips-type of situation?_

**Hates his parents, loves me, all good!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	8. Sirius Worries, Remus Comforts

> **I like you in my space**

_“Finite Incantatem!”_

Sirius and Remus both blink up at James, who’s standing in front of the couch they’re occupying in the Gryffindor common room, pointing his wand at them.

Peter groans and starts rummaging through the pockets of his robes.

Sirius reluctantly lifts his head from where it was resting on Remus’ lap. “What the hell, Prongs?”

“You lifted a hex,” Remus says sharply. “When and why did you even place a hex on us?”

“Bloody useless one,” Sirius mumbles while sitting up. “Haven’t felt a thing.”

James folds his arms over his chest.

“I indeed placed a hex on you,” he says. “You’ve been hexed for this entire day, actually. I hexed you so that all that time you couldn’t be further than two meters apart from each other.”

James holds out his hand, and Peter places a bunch of Sickles in it with a sour face. “And I made a bet with Pete here that you two idiots wouldn’t even notice.”

“I thought you’d at least go to the bathroom at different times,” Peter grumbles.

Remus opens and closes his mouth, processing the information.

Sirius feels panic rise up in his chest. He knows he can be clingy, or, as his psychologist would say, ‘due to the unsafe attachment during his childhood, he feels insecure in any relation he forms, which expresses itself as a need for constant confirmation and an excessive desire for closeness’. He just hadn’t realized he’d been that bad with Remus. He wonders if Remus had realized. Well, in any case, he would now.

As his cheeks heat up from embarrassment, Sirius flees to the dorm.

“Hi.” Remus slowly walks into the dorm.

“Hi.” Sirius doesn’t know whether to be happy it’s Remus who came after him or not. He’s embarrassed about the way he has apparently been acting around Remus, but he wouldn’t have wanted to explain himself to James or Peter.

Remus sits down on the bed next to him and bumps their shoulders together. “I was getting withdrawal symptoms from not having you within arms reach for five whole minutes,” he jokes.

Sirius can only manage a weak smile. “I’m sorry, Moony. I know I’m too clingy, too needy, too dependent.” He lets out a dry laugh. “Combine that being too energetic and too loud, and I don’t know how you’ve put up with me.”

“I didn’t even notice!” Remus exclaims. “Or, well, of course I noticed always having you there, but I didn’t notice it was something to notice. It just felt... natural. And not having you there felt very unnatural, based on my five minutes of experience.”

“Still,” Sirius says. “You can tell me when I’m too much. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before.” He tries to make it sound casual, but there’s a pain there he can’t quite mask.

“I would have told you, but you haven’t done anything I didn’t like you doing,” Remus assures him. “Or anything that I wasn’t doing myself as well.”

“I just don’t want you to feel like I’m crowding your space...”

Sirius lets out a surprised yelp when Remus suddenly tackles him onto the bed in a hug.

“I like you in my space,” Remus says firmly, half lying on top of Sirius.

Sirius stares up at Remus, trying to figure out if he’s really okay with giving him all the closeness he wants.

“Sirius Black,” Remus says solemnly, noticing his assessing stare. “Will you share my space with me?”

Sirius’ face breaks out into a grin, and he says in feigned shock “My, my, Remus Lupin. Are you asking me to move in with you?” He chuckles. “I’d love to make your space my space, and my space yours.”

Remus rests his head on Sirius’ chest and wraps his arms around him. “Not my space or your space, our space.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A really short, quick one.  
> I hope it was okay nonetheless. Thank you for reading anyway, and as always I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	9. Regrets About Rejecting Sirius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone knows Sirius is in love with Remus and Remus has rejected him. Remus wants Sirius to move on so people will stop judging him for it.

> **How do you feel about Sirius Black?**

“I swear to Merlin, if Gina Simmons looks at me like that one more time, I’m gonna give her something to be mad about,” Lily grumbles, her eyes flaming with anger.

Gina Simmons, who had been glaring in their direction, quickly turns her head as Remus looks over his shoulder. She whispers something to Beth Walker and Davey Martens, who both glare at Lily and Remus as well.

Remus sighs. “Is it always like this?”

Lily’s expression softens. “It gets less,” she says. “But there’s this persistent group that just can’t get over it. This morning, I heard Rosemary Rowle call me ‘an entitled bitch who thinks she’s too good for James Potter’. Rosemary Rowle! The girl who can’t finish a sentence without mentioning her ‘daddy, who has such an important job at the Ministry’ calling me entitled!” The angry expression is back and she clenches her quill so hard Remus worries she’s gonna break the thing.

Remus frowns. “I overheard Randall Thorne ask Jules Flemming whether he reckoned I thought I could do better, and during Potions Kirsten Pembroke threw a vial of Armadillo bile over me!”

Lily winces. “I’m sorry. I should’ve warned you to stay away from Kirsten Pembroke if she has throwable substances within reach.”

“I just don’t understand what their problem is,” Remus mutters.

Lily smiles ruefully. “You’re now officially part of the club of people who have committed the atrocious crime of rejecting the school’s most popular and beloved students, Potter and Black. With you joining, our member count is now a total of two.”

“But that’s the thing! I rejected him,” Remus says. “Nothing’s changed. They can go on writing Mrs or Mr Black on their notebooks for all I care.”

“Oh Remus,” Lily sighs wistfully. “To be so naive. I’ve rejected Potter about fifteen times now, and they still won’t forgive me for him apparently choosing me over them. Of course, in my case it doesn’t help that Potter still refers to himself as the future Mr Evans,” Lily adds with a grimace.

“It just doesn’t make sense,” Remus says, shaking his head. “They should be thankful I don’t return his feelings!”

“Well, first of all, you saying no to Black doesn’t chance the fact that he’s head over heels in love with you. Not immediately, at least. So he’s still just as unavailable to them. And more importantly, in their eyes you were given the greatest gift that can be bestowed upon a man or woman: a full-blown love confession by Sirius Black.” Lily rolls her eyes while speaking. “And the fact that you didn’t even appreciate it, just makes it worse.”

“I never asked for-”

“I know, Remus, I know. I’m just explaining how they see it. You and I are the horrible people who had the audacity to break their heartthrobs Potter and Black’s hearts.”

Remus groans. “I whish Sirius would see how ridiculous it is for him to be in love with someone like me.”

“Remus,” Lily says in a dangerous tone.

Remus ignores her. “I whish he’d just move on. I whish he’d date someone else, so they’ll have no reason to pester me anymore!”

Remus is writing his essay. Frantically. Or rather, furiously. Pressing hard on his quill while scribbling in angry, fast strokes, a pile of broken quills already forming next to his parchment.

“Did that essay murder your family?” Lily asks, as she sits down in front of Remus. “I honestly thought you’d be in a good mood.”

Remus looks up at her, a sulky expression on his face. “So you’ve heard?”

“Heard?” Lily asks. “I’ve orchestrated the whole thing!”

Remus gives her a confused look, so Lily elaborates.

“After our last conversation, I went up to Black and I just told him ‘oi, the whole school knows about your unrequited love for Remus, and some twats are giving him a really hard time about it, so if you could just take someone on a date to Hogsmeade this Saturday so they’ll stop pestering Remus, that’ll be great’. And he agreed!”

Remus just blinks at her.

Lily frowns. “That’s what you wanted, right?”

“Yes!” Remus says a little too quickly. “I just... don’t get why he’d ask Alyssa MacMillan. She’s rather dull, don’t you think?”

Lily shrugs. “She’s nice enough, but more importantly, she thinks Black is fit and would love to go out with him, but she’s got no real feelings for him and isn’t looking for a relationship, so she won’t mind just drawing people’s attention away from you, or draw his attention away from you, for that matter.”

“Right,” Remus says. “Guess I just didn’t think she’s his type, is all.”

“Who knows,” Lily smiles mischievously. “It could become some kind of Fake Dating, Friends to Lovers scenario, and they might fall in love for real! Then your problem is solved for good.”

Remus looks at her like she just told him puppies have gone extinct.

“Merlin, Remus. What is it? Is this some kind of ‘I don’t want him, but I don’t want anybody else to have him either’ thing? Because that’s really shitty!”

“No,” Remus says defensively. “No, that’s not it. I just think Sirius can do better than Alyssa MacMillan, but if that’s what he likes, than good for him.”

“Oh, for Godric’s sake, you’re jealous!”

“No, I’m not! Or at least, I don’t think I am. Am I?”

Lily folds her arms over her chest and stares at Remus intently. “Remus Lupin, do you have feelings for Sirius Black?”

“I... I don’t know,” Remus looks quite miserable. “I mean, I’ve never thought about it.”

“Never thought about it?” Lily exclaims. “How do you mean, never thought about it? Do you remember that evening when Black took you out on a moonlit walk by the Great Lake, and poured his heart out to you, saying how he’s been crazy in love with you since the beginning of fifth year, and asked if you wanted to go on a date with him, to which you answered no? _That_ would’ve been the moment to think about it!”

“It’s just...” Remus anxiously runs a hand through his hair. “With my condition, romantic relationships simply are not an option. I always saw romance as one part of being a teenager I didn’t have to concern myself with. I guess I just started to automatically ignore all thoughts and feelings related to romantic relationships. When Sirius made that confession, I was shocked, and the only thing I could think was ‘no, he can’t, he shouldn’t. I don’t do romance. I have to put an end to this immediately’. I never considered my own feelings. I mean, why would I?”

“Well, that’s a load of crap,” Lily scolds.

Remus opens his mouth to protest, but Lily cuts off whatever he was going to say.

“Not that you thought all of that, I believe you did, but that you can’t have romantic relationships with your condition is nonsense.”

“It’s never been done,” Remus argues.

“If no one ever did anything that’s never been done, we’d still be living in caves,” Lily firmly replies.

Remus fiddles with the hem of his sweater. “You really think it’s possible?”

“I don’t think it’s possible, I know it’s possible. So now we have established that, how do you feel about Sirius Black?”

“I’ve never thought-”

“Well, think about it now!”

“I don’t know,” Remus says, staring at the table. “Of course I think he’s attractive, but that doesn’t mean anything except that I have eyes. I mean, who doesn’t think he’s attractive? With that hair and those eyes... And I have even more reason, sharing a dorm with him. I see him when he comes out of the shower wearing just a towel, sweet mother of Merlin...”

Lily waits patiently for Remus to finish daydreaming.

Remus shakes himself out of his daze. “And of course I like him as a person. I wouldn’t have been friends with him all these years if I didn’t like him as a person. And what’s not to like? He’s clever, funny and brave, but he also has this really sweet side, you know? A side he doesn’t show much, and I guess it makes me feel special that he does show it around me. He always makes me feel special. It’s kind of weird, actually. He makes me feel special, but at the same time he makes me feel like I can just be myself, and that’s enough. I feel comfortable around him, and I suppose I do prefer his company above anyone else’s. Even on those moments when I normally don’t want to see anyone, he’s the only one I prefer being with over being alone. And when he’s not around I often find myself thinking about him. Now that I think about, I think about him almost all the time...”

Remus trails of and looks at Lily with wide eyes. Lily just nods.

“Oh Merlin,” Remus groans, hiding his face in his hands.

“Remus, Remus, Remus,” Lily sighs. “You’re so lucky to have me as a friend. Here’s what you’re going to do...”

“Padfoot?”

Sirius whirls around, and grins at Remus. Remus can tell he’s trying to act like everything’s normal between them, but he can also tell that his grin is somewhat forced and there’s a hint of pain in his eyes.

“Wotcher, Moony.”

“I wanted to talk to you,” Remus says.

The grin fades from Sirius’ face, and he runs a hand through his hair. “Ah, yeah, Evans told me about those people that’ve been bothering you. I’m really sorry, Moony. If I had known...”

“It’s not your fault,” Remus says.

“I know you feel uncomfortable about my feelings for you.” There’s a sadness in Sirius’ voice. “I won’t mention it again. I never meant to make you uncomfortable. If I could change it, I would, but being in love with you has become such a big part of me, and it’s not something I can just stop. Turns out, you’re a very hard person to not be in love with.”

“I don’t want you to not be in love with me!” Remus says.

Sirius frowns. “You like having me hopelessly pine after you that much?” He looks slightly hurt.

“No,” Remus says quickly. “No, I just think I might have been... too hasty in rejecting you?”

“Moony,” Sirius sighs. “You have every right to reject me. You don’t have to try and force yourself into feeling something you don’t, just because you pity me, or some stupid twats think they can judge you.”

“I rejected you because I didn’t think you should be with...” Remus gestures vaguely at himself. “Well, with someone like me. It only occurred to me recently, very recently, that I never even considered whether I have feelings for you.”

“And do you...”

“I do.”

“Oh.”

“Oh indeed.”

Sirius lets out a nervous chuckle. “So do you want to-”

“No!”

Sirius blinks in confusion. Remus quickly tries to clarify.

“I mean, no, you already asked me last time, this time I want to ask you.”

Sirius mutters something under his breath about a bloody emotional roller-coaster. Remus continues.

“I already talked to Alyssa MacMillan, and she told me to ‘go get my man’, so since you’re now free this Saturday, would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me, as in a date?”

Sirius’ face lights up in a smile so beautiful it makes Remus a little dizzy. “I’d absolutely love to!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	10. Sirius Getting Hurt After Asking Remus Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius misses his first date with Remus, and there's no excuse for that! Unless being unconscious after a Death Eater attack counts?

> **It's a date!**

“We should have dinner.”

Sirius speaks without pausing the rapid succession of curses he’s firing. Remus gives him a quick look, but almost immediately has to turn his attention back to the darkness in front of them, as a beam of light flies right past his head. He fires a cure back, and three curses come soaring at him in return, only to be deflected by Sirius’ quickly casted Protego Charm.

Before more curses can come their way, Sirius and Remus duck behind a rock on their right.

“Sure,” Remus says. “Let’s tell the Death Eaters to wait here while we go on a food break. Hey, maybe they’d like to join, and we can all go to McDonalds together.”

Suddenly, a particularly nasty curse blows a piece of the rock away, just centimetres from Sirius’ head. Sirius doesn’t hesitate. Using the dust as a cover, he Stupifies the approaching Death Eaters with three well-aimed curses. Then he turns around to follow Remus, jumping and rolling over the floor into the shelter of a battered, but at least still standing, wall.

“I didn’t mean now,” he says, rolling his eyes. “After this.”

Remus peers past the wall, and smoothly disarms the Death Eater trying to attack them on his side.

“Sure,” he says. “Do you want to make a grocery list, or...?”

A beam of light hits the seam of Sirius’ robes and sets them on fire. He spins on his heels and first somehow manages to take out two Death Eaters with one curse, before pointing his wand to his robes to extinguish the flames.

Suddenly, Remus pushes him away so roughly that he trips and falls flat on his back. In front of him, the top of the wall has come crumbling down and large pieces of rock cover the spot he had just been standing.

Remus grabs his hand, pulls him up, and they sprint away again. This time, they end up crouching down behind a low wall that can hardly be called a wall.

“I meant,” Sirius says slowly. “We should have dinner, at a restaurant, together, just the two of us.”

Remus’ eyes widen in surprise and he opens his mouth to speak, but at that moment a flash of green light flies right past his head.

Sirius’ mouth tightens in anger and he jumps to his feet, sending of a rapid succession of curses. Not without effect, judged from the grunts coming from the Death Eaters hidden in the darkness. He feels something scrape his cheek and turns in the direction it came from, but Remus jerks him down just in time before three curses at the same time fly towards where Sirius’ head had been just second ago. Blood is dripping from a deep gash in Sirius’ cheek.

“Padfoot,” Remus says disbelievingly. “Are you asking me out? _Now?_ ”

Sirius shrugs. “Seems as good a time as any.”

A shrill, familiar voice echoes through the darkness. “Where are you, you filthy blood traitor? I’m gonna make you regret the day you shamed our family, you foul disgrace!”

Sirius and Remus send a red beam into the direction of the voice almost automatically, which is followed by a loud shriek.

Remus raises an eyebrow at Sirius.

“Alright, maybe not as good a time as any,” Sirius reluctantly admits. “But still, the question stands.”

Sirius’ eye catches two stone pillars, that look like better hiding places than the almost falling apart wall. He motions for Remus to follow him and once again they sprint through the night, dodging curses here and there.

“Since when...” Remus jumps to one side of the pillar to avoid a curse and then quickly jumps back again to avoid another. “Do you even _want_ to date me?”

Sirius casts a Protego on his left and Remus’ right, so they can first focus on the Death Eaters at the other side.

“Couple of months maybe,” Sirius replies. “I found out I rather fancy you, and as much as I enjoy being friends with you, I was hoping it could be something more.”

Remus gapes at him, but even more surprising is the sudden force that blows them both backwards, landing flat on their backs a few metres away from the pillars. From their new position though, they are able to spot a ditch in the ground, and staying low, they manage to crawl in that direction and roll themselves in the ditch.

They take a minute to catch their breaths. Sirius’ face is bruised and Remus has sprained his wrist.

Suddenly, a glowing white deer appears in front of them.

“Padfoot, Moony.” James’ voice sounds grave. “The Prewetts had to give up their position. The Death Eaters who were fighting them are almost certainly on their way to reinforce the group attacking you.”

Remus curses under his breath.

“You have to get out of there as fast as you can,” Prongs’ voice urges, before the deer disappears again.

“Shite!” Sirius looks over his shoulder to where he knows the Death Eaters must be approaching.

“What do we do?” Remus asks anxiously.

“We have to get that piece of parchment to Dumbledore.” Sirius gestures at the folded parchment tucked away in the pocket of Remus’ robes. “Whatever information it contains, he said it may be essential for Lily’s, James’, and Harry’s safety.”

“I know that much,” Remus says. “But how? The anti-apparition zone stretches out for at least another half a kilometre, if not more. We won’t make it like this, but they’re too many to stop and face in a standstill, with even more on their way! And if we turn around and run, one of their curses will surely hit us in the back.”

“I might have an idea,” Sirius says thoughtfully. “You run to the end of the anti-apparition zone, while I hold off the Death Eaters and cover your back-”

“Sirius.”

“No, hear me out. I’ll stall them only as long as to give you a good head start. Then, I’ll turn into Padfoot and follow. Padfoot’s smaller, darker, closer to the ground, and therefore much more difficult to hit, and let’s not forget much faster! I’ll have a much better chance.”

“Alright,” Remus says reluctantly. “But don’t be a stubborn idiot, Sirius! I know you. I know how you get carried away. Don’t think you can take down all Death Eaters on your own. Stall them for a bit, and then _follow_!”

“I will, I will. Just get ready to run.” Sirius is already turning to climb out of the ditch.

“Wait.” Remus grabs Sirius’ arm and turns him back to face him. “Tuesday night. That Italian place with those almond cookies I like so much. Pick me up at seven, and wear your leather jacket.”

Sirius blinks and then breaks out in a grin. “It’s a date!”

Sirius _loves_ duelling. There’s a reason he was the best duller at Hogwarts. It’s addictive to him, the constant alternation between evading, shielding and deflecting, and attacking. He loves the adrenaline rush when an enemy’s curse just barely misses him and the thrill when he hits his target.

The knowledge that each Death Eater he takes out is one less to hurt Remus spurs him on even more, and he soon gets lost in the sensation.

Suddenly, he hears a chuckle on his left, and sees a hooded figure standing right next to him. It’s more instinct than anything else that makes him Stupify the figure before it can hurt him.

He blinks. Right next to him? How did he let that happen? When did they get so close? How long has he been duelling?

He turns, meaning to change into Padfoot mid-turn, but before he can transform, something hits him between his shoulder blades. A sharp pain spreads through his body and the world around him goes black.

Sirius slowly blinks his eyes open and groans at the throbbing pain throughout his entire body.

Suddenly, James’ face is occupying his entire field of view.

“Padfoot? Padfoot, are you there? Padfoot, can you see me? Can you hear me?”

Sirius turns his head away. “Yes Prongs, and I can smell you too! Merlin, what’s the last time you brushed your teeth?”

But James just responds by wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into a tight hug.

Sirius hugs back as good as he can. “Close call, huh?” He mutters.

“Much too close,” James confirms as he releases him again. He looks a bit shaky. “Mad-Eye called us sentimental fools when we went back. We thought we were just bringing back your body, so we could at least give you a proper-” He shakes his head and runs a hand over his face. “Merlin, Padfoot.”

“Sorry,” Sirius winches.

A silence falls, before Sirius asks “What day is it?”

“Friday,” James replies, and Sirius groans.

Downstairs, the front door opens, and Lily’s voice drifts up.

“Hi, Moony. James is with him right now, but I just finished cooking some dinner. Would you like some?”

“No, thank you, Lily,” is Remus’ flat reply. “I’ll be going right upstairs.”

“Remus, what’s the last time you’ve eaten anything? Or slept, for that matter.”

“He’s been taking it very hard,” James whispers.

“Yeah,” Sirius replies. “We were supposed to have Italian.”

James frowns at him. “I honestly don’t think he’s been so upset because he missed out on pizza night.”

Before Sirius can reply, however, the door opens and Remus is standing there. His mouth is slightly parted and his eyes widen as his gaze fixes on Sirius, who’s staring back at him.

“I’m sorry I missed our date,” Sirius says in a raspy voice, and he wants to ask for another chance, but the words die in his throat as Remus strides forward, cups Sirius’ face in his hands and just kisses him.

Sirius doesn’t particularly mind this turn of events, and participates as best he can, his hands clutching Remus’ sweater as he loses himself in the feel of Remus’ lips insistent against his own.

“So,” James says with a raised eyebrow after they’ve pulled apart. “That’s... new. Are you two together?”

“Not yet,” Remus says, without taking his eyes off Sirius. “But as soon as Padfoot is well enough to walk, he’s going to make up for being a stubborn idiot by taking me to a fancy restaurant for a candlelit dinner, and he’ll better have asked me to be his boyfriend before dessert.”

Sirius’ face breaks out in a grin. “It’s a date!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, my first action scene! I hope the humour came through. As always, I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	11. Valentine's Day Fluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James helps Remus make a grand romantic gesture for Valentine’s Day. Remus won't say who for, but James has a very strong suspicion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day!

> **The not-so-subtle art of grand romantic gesture making**

“You’re the last person I would’ve expected, Remus John Lupin.”

“Yet here I am.”

“Here you are indeed.”

Impatiently, Remus folds his arms across his chest. “Can you help me, or what?”

“I must say, your request surprises me.”

“They say you’re the best.” Remus replies with a shrug.

“They don’t just say I am the best, I am the best. But you never showed any interest in that before.”

“Well, I obviously do now.”

“You’ve never been a fan of my work, which you’ve made evidently clear, and now you’re suddenly requiring my services?”

“The situation has changed,” Remus replies curtly.

“Enlighten me.”

Remus sighs. “I may not always have been a fan of your work, but I’m not the only part involved.”

“Interesting. And what would be in it for me?”

“Nevermind, Prongs,” Remus scoffs, getting up from his chair. “If you’re gonna be an arse about it...” He moves to walk out of the room.

“No, Moony! Wait!” James exclaims. “I wanna help! I’m sorry, I’ll stop being a twat.”

Remus sits back down, but doesn’t stop glaring at James.

“So,” James says. “You want my help planning a grand romantic gesture for Valentine’s Day?”

Remus shrugs, feigning nonchalance. “If anyone knows anything about grand romantic gestures, it’d be you. You make several per year.”

“And you were never impressed by any of them!”

“I said I’d prefer something small and intimate myself,” Remus counters. “I never said they weren’t impressive. That time you somehow managed to cover the girls’ dormitory in white lilies was quite admirable. Or the time that flock of birds followed Lily around all day, singing love songs, that was sweet. Annoying, but sweet. Or that time those fireworks first spelled Lily’s name, and then exploded into tiny pieces of paper, each containing a compliment for her, now that was impressive!”

“Ah yes,” James muses. “Some of my best work. But that still doesn’t explain what made you change your mind.”

“Well,” Remus says hesitantly. “There’s this person...”

James perks up at this. “Oh? You have a person?”

Remus’ cheeks colour. “It’s just this person I like, I mean really like, who loves grand romantic gestures.”

“But if that’s not your thing...”

Remus shakes his head. “It’s not about me. I want to make this person happy, so it’s about what this person wants.”

James gives Remus a sappy smile. He can’t refuse when romance is involved, not that he wants to. “Alright, Moony. I’ll take your case! With my help, you’ll dazzle your person!”

Remus gives him a grateful smile, but it immediately disappears again when James asks “So, who is it?”

His eyes widen. “I’m not telling!”

James practically pouts. “Oh, come on, Moony! You’ve told me this much already.”

“No, I can’t, I won’t. You... might talk to the person.”

“If I know your person, even better!” James says. “I can more easily personalize the gesture!”

“Please, Prongs,” Remus says pleadingly. “I’m almost positive that this person doesn’t have the same type of feelings for me, and I don’t want to think about that. I just want to do something nice for Valentine’s Day, and make this person happy, like this person deserves. Even if you figure out who it is, I don’t want to talk about it or hear your opinion about it. I just need to do this, to show how much this person means to me, and that’s it. I don’t expect anything to come from it.”

James stares at Remus for a moment, at the desperate, yet determined, look in his eyes. He sighs. “Okay, but you need to give me something to work with. Favourite colour, favourite animal, favourite food, favourite music?” James grabs a quill and a piece of parchment to note it all down.

“Favourite colour is golden, as it’s warm and reminding of Gryffindor. Has a weak spot for dogs, any kind of dog. Loves Pumpkin Pastries, preferably with that strong cheese, and is obsessed with Muggle candy bars, as they were never allowed growing up. Pretends to listen to The Blasting Skrewts, but secretly adores all the happy, romantic songs of the Muggle band The Beatles,” Remus says in one breath.

James holds the quill motionless above the parchment, not having written down a word, as he stares at Remus open-mouthed. Remus’ face has gone bright red as he looks down at his hands, refusing to meet James’ eyes.

_I don’t want to talk about it or hear your opinion about it._

Remus’ words echo in James’ mind. He scrapes his throat. “So, eh, dogs, you said?”

Writing everything down suddenly seems a lot less urgent, as James has a strong suspicion he already knows quite a lot about what this person likes and dislikes.

James is sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the fireplace in the common room, playing chess with Peter, but his mind isn’t on the game. Remus is sitting on the couch reading a book, while absentmindedly threading his fingers through Sirius’ hair, who is lying on his back with his head in Remus’ lap.

It’s not weird to James. Remus and Sirius are always close together, like this, or sitting with their legs pressed against each other, wrapping an arm around each other, resting their head on the other’s shoulder.

Suddenly, though, it seems weird to James that he never thought it weird. He’s used to it when it’s Remus and Sirius, but he certainly doesn’t know any other friends who act so affectionately.

And then there’s the look. The look Sirius is giving Remus right now. The soft smile and the expression in his eyes. He looks at him fondly, admiringly, _lovingly_.

James is often called a mother-hen by his friends, and he always scolds when they do so, but in truth, James actually is very protective over his friends, especially Remus and Sirius. They’ve been through enough. Remus with his lonely childhood and painful condition, Sirius with his loveless childhood and abusive parents. James will be damned of he’s going to let anyone break their hearts, and whoever they start dating, it won’t be easy to gain the James Potter Seal of Approval.

But while thinking about who’d be good enough for his friends, he never considered _this_. But this, this could be good.

James is flipping through a catalogue. He doesn’t need to buy lilies this time. Perhaps roses? They’re cliché, sure, but set a romantic mood like no other. Definitely no rose petals, that’s more suited for private occasions.

Sirius plucks the catalogue out of his hands and flops down next to him on the bed. “Got any idea yet what you’re going to do for Evans this year?”

“No,” James says, resting back against the headboard. “I’ve been... busy.”

“Mmm,” Sirius replies absentmindedly, while flipping through the catalogue. His eyes remain on an add for floating candles for a moment, and James makes a mental note. “I love grand romantic gestures,” Sirius sighs.

“Well,” James says, taking the catalogue from his hands. “Maybe you can soon make them for the person _you_ like.”

Sirius lets out a short laugh. “Not if that person hates grand romantic gestures.”

James rolls up the catalogue and smacks Sirius over the head with it. “Are you saying you have your eye on someone?” He gasps. “Padfoot, don’t tell me you’re seeing someone!”

Sirius throws a pillow at James’ head. “Don’t be daft, Prongs. Like I could be dating someone without you knowing.”

There’s a silence, in which James watches Sirius worryingly bite his lower lip.

“But,” he eventually says, hesitantly. “There might be someone that I... fancy.”

“Oh?” James says, sitting up more straight.

“”Yeah,” Sirius says with colouring cheeks. “But like I said, it’s someone who hates grand romantic gestures, who would prefer something small and intimate.”

“But if grand romantic gestures are more your style...”

Sirius shakes his head. “It’s not about me. I want to make this person happy, so it’s about what this person wants.”

James can barely contain his grin. Where has he heard that before?

He pretends to focus on the catalogue, but in reality he’s carefully watching the expression on Sirius’ face. “I suppose grand romantic gestures aren’t for everyone.” He tries to sound as casual as possible. “Some people would probably prefer something like, I don’t know, snuggling up together with a good book, drinking hot tea and eating chocolate?”

That fond smile is back on Sirius’ face, and he speaks without seeming to realise. “Yeah, he’d love that!”

James smiles to himself. Yes, this could definitely be good.

James is glad that he didn’t go with roses, but the floating candles are definitely a nice touch, spreading a soft light over the pile of blankets in front of the fire place. The huge stuffed dog wearing a t-shirt saying ‘Will you be my Valentine?’ is the exact right amount of cheesy. There’s a warming spell cast over the tray with Pumpkin Pastries, so they won’t cool down, and candy bars are spread all across the blankets. ‘Love Me Do’ from The Beatles is softly playing in the background.

Many other Gryffindors in the common room are giving the scene appreciating glances. Remus had wanted to set it up in their dorm, but James had convinced him that doing it publicly was part of the charm. It showed that you wanted the whole world to know how much you cared about your person.

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Remus mutters nervously beside James.

“Nothing says romance more than a public declaration!” James says.

“Nothing says embarrassment more than a public rejection,” Remus argues.

James rolls his eyes. “I’ve been publicly rejected a great many times.”

“Yes, but you’re-” James looks at Remus with a raised eyebrow. “Special,” Remus finishes.

“It doesn’t matter what anyone thinks!” James says. “You’re showing the person you love how much you care, and that’s the only thing that matters.”

A soft smile appears on Remus’ lips.

“Now,” James pats Remus on his back. “You said your person will be here at four, right?” That happens to also be the time Sirius comes back from Advanced Arithmancy. “Well, I’m going to check real quick if-”

“James, can I tell you something?”

“We don’t have much time left, but we can talk tonight, or tomorrow morning if-”

“It’s Sirius!”

“So serious it can’t wait a while longer?”

Remus shakes his head. “No, I mean, my person, this person, it’s Sirius.”

James blinks at him. “Moony, did you really think I didn’t know that already? I helped you decide what dog looked most like Padfoot, I found Sirius’ Beatle records for you.”

Remus shrugs. “I thought you’d surely speak up if you knew. Tell me I’m being an idiot, that Sirius definitely doesn’t see me like that, that I should find someone not so obviously out of my league. And when you didn’t say anything...”

“You asked me not to say anything!”

“Yes, but I didn’t think you would’ve listened if you knew it was a hopeless crush on your best friend!”

“Moony,” James runs a hand through his hair. “Do you honestly think I’d let you do all of this had I thought it was hopeless?”

Remus just shrugs again.

“Look, Remus,” James says solemnly. “I’m not Sirius. I mean, I’m serious of course, but not Sirius. I can’t give you any answers or make you any promises, only he can do that, but I can tell you that I wouldn’t have let you gone through with all of this if I hadn’t thought you had a chance.”

“What’s this?”

James spins around to see that Sirius has climbed through the portrait hole. “Prongs, is this one of yours for Evans?”

“Nope,” James says. “This isn’t mine, and not for Evans. It’s for you.”

Sirius’ eyes widen and he looks again, this time taking in all the details that are exactly adapted to all his favourite things. His eyes widen even further. “Wow,” he whispers in awe. “Who...?”

“Turn around,” James grins.

Sirius whirls around. Remus is standing there, face flushed, holding a bouquet of roses (alright, maybe James didn’t go without roses completely). Sirius’ mouth drops opens and it’s hard to tell who’s blushing more, Remus or Sirius.

“Hi,” Remus says. “Hello. Hi. How’s it going? Nice to see you.”

James had told him to give the flowers first, with good reason, as Remus in his nerves is already subconsciously plucking the petals off.

“I like you,” Remus says. “I mean, of course I like you. We’ve been friends for years. It would’ve been rather odd if I never even liked you.”

James has to resist the urge to face-palm. He knew they should’ve written a speech out. It takes away the spontaneity, but at least it prevents this.

Remus lets out a deep sigh. “I like like you. To be honest, I’m quite smitten with you. I know how much you like grand romantic gestures, so I just wanted to give you one of your own. You deserve it, Sirius. You’re bloody great, you know that? Of course ridiculously good-looking, with those eyes, that hair and that smile. But also because you care so much. No matter what you do, you always give it your all. There’s nothing I admire more than the way you fight for what you believe in. What I love most, though, is how bloody happy you make me. You somehow make me feel good about myself, more than I ever thought possible. Knowing that you’re always there for me gives me more confidence than I even knew I had in me. You make me smile even on my worst days. I just want to make you happy the way you make me happy. I don’t expect you to feel the same way. This might not be what you had hoped for, I’m probably not who you wanted to do this, but I just want to make you smile in return, and let you know how much I appreciate- Padfoot? Padfoot, why are you crying? Please don’t cry! I wanted to make you smile! Do you hate it? Is this not what you wanted? Did I do it all wrong?”

“Remus, you absolute idiot!” Sirius says with a sniffle. “I’m crying because I’m happy! What else am I suppose to do with you saying all those outrageously, ridiculously, wonderful things?”

“So you do like it?”

“Like it?” Sirius shakes his head. “I love it, you bloody dunce!”

Remus still looks hesitantly. “So I didn’t do it wrong?”

Sirius laughs through his tears. “You did nothing wrong. Except maybe the part where you said you’re not who I wanted to do this. Of course I want it to be you. It’s you, Moony. Only you. It’s always been you.”

“Really?” Remus’ voice trembles.

“I’m completely gone for you, Moony.”

Remus face lights up in the brightest smile James has ever seen. He just stands there, beaming at Sirius.

Eventually, Sirius let’s out a shaky laugh. “Aren’t you supposed to be holding me or something?”

Remus drops the roses, which is probably for the best, and rushes towards him. His arms wrap around Sirius’ waist and Sirius’ arms wrap around his neck, while he hides his face against Remus’ shoulder.

Cheers erupt from the people watching, but Remus and Sirius don’t notice, being in their own little world as they are. Sirius lifts up his head, meets Remus’ eyes, and the next moment, with the sound of even more cheers echoing through the room, Remus kisses him.

James starts shooing people out of the room. That’s enough for the public part.

“Was this your work?”

James spins around to see Lily stand behind him, arms crossed over her chest.

“It was Remus’ idea,” James says truthfully. “But I helped with the execution.”

Lily takes a few steps forward and looks up at him with those magnificent, enchanting green eyes.

James has trouble remembering how to breath.

“All this,” Lily sighs. “And all I got was a box of chocolate.”

“I’m sorry!” James blurts out. “I was busy! I just didn’t have time...”

Lily chuckles, leans forward, presses a kiss against his cheek, and whispers in his ear. “You better up your game for next year, Potter.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment!  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	12. Remus and James Judging Sirius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After finding out Sirius has been hiding their friendship from his parents, Remus and James wrongfully assume he's ashamed of them.

> **A bunch of berks**

“What the fuck, Sirius!” James is standing with his hands on his hips, glaring at Sirius. If the tone of his voice and his posture weren’t enough to show his anger, the fact that he uses Sirius’ name instead of his nickname does it.

“What’s going on?” Remus asks warily, as he approaches their table.

“Prongs has been reading my letter from home,” Sirius says, glaring at James.

Remus looks from Sirius to James. Sirius never talks about his family. Remus and James only know what everyone knows based on their reputation: they’re supposedly stiff, old-fashioned, and narrow-minded. Remus and James never bring them up either. They know Sirius isn’t like that, and that’s enough. Besides, you can’t really ask your best mate ‘oi, are your parents really as horrible as everyone says?’

James rolls his eyes. “Not on purpose! It was lying on the table and I picked it up, not knowing what it was.”

“And you didn’t realise until after you read the whole thing?” Sirius asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Then I was too appalled to stop reading!” James snaps back. He straightens the piece of parchment in his hand. “Moony, hear this!”

Remus opens his mouth to say he really doesn’t want to hear Sirius’ private correspondence without his permission, but what James reads to him makes the words die in his throat.

“ _‘We don’t see why you should want to stay at Hogwarts for the Holidays. Gryffindor already has hardly any decent purebloods, and I expect the few there are will be going to their families themselves. It is quite pointless for you to stay there on your own’_ Or this sentence! _‘We understand that in such an abdominal environment as Gryffindor House the temptation to form relations with witches or wizards of a lesser descent can be strong, but we expect you will be sensible enough to continue to solely associate with decent purebloods, or at least as decent as the ones in Gryffindor can be’_.”

Remus frowns. “Solely associating with purebloods? That doesn’t make any sense.” The Potters are infamous blood traitors in their circles, and no one would mistake the _Lupins_ for purebloods.

“Well, you see, Moony,” James says. “Turns out Sirius here has been hiding our friendship from his family.”

Remus stares at Sirius. “Why?”

James huffs. “Apparently we, mere halfblood and blood traitor, are deemed unworthy of the heir of the ‘Noble and Most Ancient House of Black’. I suppose he doesn’t want to lose face by letting his precious pureblood relatives find out he has befriended such inferior wizards.”

Sirius grits his teeth. “I never said that!”

“So you deny that you’ve been purposely hiding our friendship to please you’re parents and their blood supremacy ideas?”

“No, but-“

“Well then,” James cuts him off.

“It’s not important whether they know!” Sirius says, almost sounding desperate. “They’re not important.”

“If they weren’t important to you, you wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of pretending!” James argues back.

“You’re embarrassed about being friends with us?” Remus whispers. “You’re _ashamed_ of us?”

Sirius looks at him with big, pleading eyes. “Moony, no...”

Somewhere in the back of his mind Remus knows they’re maybe being a bit unfair. They’re jumping to conclusions without giving Sirius a chance to explain. But James is raised in such a way that he’s completely allergic to anything that even leans towards blood supremacy, and Sirius pretending to uphold his parents blood supremacy ideas is definitely enough to set him off. And Remus... Remus is not a very confident person, but if there’s anyone who makes him feel like he’s worth a damn and good enough just the way he is, then it’s Sirius. And to now find out that Sirius is actually ashamed of him... Well, that hurts. A lot. So neither Remus nor James is really thinking clearly.

“Is this also why you never want to meet up during the breaks?” Remus asks.

“I hadn’t even thought of that!” James says. “I guess we’re good enough to hang out with at Hogwarts, without many other options, but when you can also choose to be with your precious pureblood friends and family, we don’t make the cut anymore.”

“That’s not... I don’t even have...” Sirius sputters. “You don’t know what it’s like!”

“Don’t know what it’s like?” Remus asks, incredulously. “You really think our parents didn’t have any reservations when they heard we befriended a Black? But we stood up for you! We told them you were nothing like the rumours say. We _defended_ you, but I guess you didn’t feel like doing the same for us.”

Sirius stares at the ground. “I just didn’t think it was worth all the trouble,” he says softly.

“We weren’t worth it?” James asks. “Okay then, noted. We were wrong when we defended you anyway. You’re exactly like your ancestors. You’re a real Black. They can be proud of you.”

Sirius just stares at him for a while, face gone pale. For a moment, Remus thinks he’s going to tell James not to talk shite about his family, but then he just turns around and walks away.

Remus sighs. “I don’t think we handled that very well. What he does and doesn’t tell his parents is his own choice, after all.”

“But he’s been pretending to uphold their blood supremacy ideas!” James says defensively. “Or what if he’s not pretending with them, but with _us_?”

Remus shakes his head. “Prongs, we’ve known him for years! One letter can’t suddenly make him an entirely different person.”

James sighs. “I suppose you’re right. It’s none of our business if he wants to play the perfect pureblood son for his parents.” He looks hesitantly in the direction Sirius had gone off to. “Should I go after him?”

“Probably not right now,” Remus replies. “He’s upset, we’re angry and hurt. It’s probably best if we all calm down a bit and then have another conversation about it.”

They still have classes the rest of the day. Sirius doesn’t sit with them, and looks positively miserable. That’s enough for Remus to whish they had just talked it out right away. To make a bad day worse, they have to face Boggarts in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Remus is anxiously standing in line next to James. What kind of mad professor would think it okay to let students face their biggest fears in front of all their peers?

Soon enough, it’s Sirius’ turn, and Remus and James watch in amazement as the Boggart turns into _his mother_. Remus recognizes her from the glimpses he has seen at King’s Cross, but even if he hadn’t, it’s clear from her haughty air and typical aristocratic features. What’s also hard to believe, is that Sirius actually flinches when he sees her.

Even with having learned that morning that Sirius has been lying about their friendship to live up to his parents’ standards, it still comes as a shock to Remus that it’s actually Sirius’ _biggest fear_ to disappoint his mommy. It seems so unlike Sirius, and quite frankly, it pisses Remus off that he cares so much about that lot’s good opinion. Judging by the way James’ jaw has tightened, he feels much the same.

They fully expect Sirius’ mother to begin scolding him, and they’re quite taken aback when she... smiles. It’s an approving and proud smile, and she looks at Sirius with admiration.

“Sirius, my son,” she speaks fondly. “You are truly a perfect representative of the Black family values. You’re exactly like your ancestors. You’re a real Black. We’re so proud of you,” she finishes with almost an exact echo of James’ words.

Sirius puts on a brave face, squares his shoulders, and casts a well-aimed Ridikkulus. The black stole his mother is wearing over her robes suddenly turns into a big, black dog, very reminiscent of Padfoot, who jumps on the ground and bites her in her arse. She jumps with a shriek and the Boggart retreats. Sirius turns around and walks out of the room not meeting anyone’s eye.

Students are whispering and Professor Flitwick looks confused. After all, why would someone’s biggest fear be their mother being proud of him?

Remus stares after Sirius. So he’s not afraid of falling out with his family and earning their disapproval. He’s actually afraid of fitting in with his family and earning their approval.

James grimaces. “We really buggered up, didn’t we?”

Sirius is sitting on the stairs with his knees tucked against his chest. James sits down on one side of him, and Remus on the other.

“We’re a bunch of berks,” James says. “If you don’t want to talk to me anymore, you have every right.”

Sirius shrugs. “You weren’t wrong. I have been hiding out friendship from my family.”

Without thinking, Remus wraps an arm around Sirius’ waist and he feels a tingle in his stomach when Sirius leans in to him. “We were just attacking you without giving you a chance to explain. We judged you without knowing the situation. We’re sorry, Padfoot.”

“I’m sorry too.”

“You did nothing wrong,” James argues.

“I made you believe I was ashamed of you. I hate that,” Sirius replies. “You must believe me when I say I don’t think myself better than you because of the bloody blood that flows through my veins! Quite the opposite,” he adds with a murmur.

“Of course we believe you!” James exclaims. He nudges Sirius with his shoulder. “How could we not? You just irrefutably proved that being like your family is your literal worst fear! We’d have to be massive idiots to not believe you.”

“Well...” Sirius says with a teasing smirk.

“Oi!” James shoves Sirius playfully.

Remus laughs, but something is still gnawing away at him. If Sirius doesn’t seek his parents’ approval, why hide their friendship from them? For that matter, they still don’t know why they never see him during the breaks. And his own mother being his biggest fear is just wrong, especially with the way Sirius flinched upon seeing her. Something is off.

But for now, James and Sirius are laughing together again. For now, Sirius is pressed up against Remus, resting his head on Remus’ shoulder, with Remus’ arm firmly around his waist. For now, it’s alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and I'd love it if you'd leave a comment, or let me know if you want a part 2😉  
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


	13. Dog Named Padfoot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Very funny that Dorcas and Marlene named their puppy Padfoot, but if Sirius hears Remus talk about Padfoot sitting on his lap and licking his neck one more time, he might go insane.

> **Moony and the Padfoots**

“I love Padfoot so much,” Remus sighs. “I just want to have him in my lap all day!”

Sirius tries to keep his face neutral, but James looks far to amused to not have noticed his discomfort.

It had seemed funny at the time. Dorcas and Marlene have adopted a dog, a little puppy. Since Remus and Sirius are both known to be huge dog lovers, the girls asked them to be their dog sitters, and it had been great, really. Sirius discovered that the only thing he loved more than playing with an adorably cute puppy, was watching an equally adorably cute Remus play with an adorably cute puppy. The problem was, however, that Dorcas and Marlene had the hilarious idea to name their dog Padfoot, and what had indeed seemed like a good laugh at the time, was starting to become a real problem.

“But he’s so energetic!” Remus chuckles fondly. “Like Padfoot would be willing to sit in my lap all day, just so I can smother him with cuddles and kisses!”

“Depends on which one,” James says, sounding casual, but with a devious glint in his eyes. “I think one might be a lot more willing than the other.”

Sirius glares at James, cursing him and cursing him knowing about his hopeless crush on Remus. Although James still refuses to agree on the hopeless part.

Luckily, Remus is so enraptured in telling James all about their first day as dog sitters that he doesn’t seem to have heard his comment.

“And while he was sitting in my lap, Padfoot was such a bad boy,” Remus continues. “He kept licking my neck. But with Padfoot being so cute, I don’t even mind having his wet tongue all over me!”

“Do you hear that, Padfoot?” James smirks. “That’s good to know, innit?”

Sirius glares daggers at James.

“I tried to get him to behave,” Remus sighs. “But Padfoot seems more interested in licking my face than listening to a word I say!”

“Ah, yes,” James sighs wistfully. “I figured that out years ago.”

Remus gives him a puzzled look, but then just shakes his head. “Anyway, next time when Padfoot is a good boy, I I’ll give him a stick to play with-”

James opens his mouth to speak, but Sirius jumps to his feet and clasps his hands together before he can say anything. “Alright, Prongs, we should go. Monty and Effie won’t like us being late for Sunday dinner.”

James gets to his feet, the smirk still in his face, though.

“Hold up,” Remus says, also getting up. “What’s going on? You’ve both been acting off. You’re making weird comments, Prongs, and Padfoot, you’ve barely said a word!”

“I’ll see you at mum and dad’s,” James says, before disapparating out of the flat with a loud crack.

“Well?” Remus crosses his arms over his chest and frowns at Sirius, looking utterly adorable when angry.

Sirius gives up and groans. “Merlin, Moony. You need to start calling that dog by a different name.”

Remus only looks more confused. “Why?” He blinks.

“Because,” Sirius says exasperated. “I’ve been dealing with my hopeless pining after you quite well, I believe, but if you’re constantly talking about how you want Padfoot to sit in your lap and lick your face, I’m gonna lose it!”

“Oh,” Remus says. Then his eyes widen. _“Oh!”_

Sirius feels his face grow hot thinking about what he said. So many years of keeping it in, and now this.

“I’m sorry, the Potters probably wondering what’s keeping me.” At least Sirius hopes James hasn’t informed them. “We... We’ll talk later.” Sirius quickly disapparates, thinking it best to give Remus some time to let his words sink in, though deep down he’d rather obliviate them from his memory.

Sirius and James have dinner at Monty and Effie’s every Sunday, for old times’ sake, even now James has bought a house with Lily and Sirius has been living in his flat with Remus as his roommate. This Sunday, Sirius is quite absent, but luckily no one decides to comment on it. James even manages to keep the smirk off his face.

When Sirius returns to the flat, he slumps down on the couch and closes his eyes to mentally prepare himself for the upcoming confrontation. He hears Remus come out of his room and sit down on the armchair in front of him. He vaguely wonders if Remus would let him get away with pretending their last conversation never happened, when Remus clears his throat.

“Padfoot,” he says in a light voice. “D’you wanna come sit on my lap and lick my face?”

Sirius blinks his eyes open and glances around the room, before looking at Remus. “The...” He swallows. “The dog isn’t here.”

There’s a playful smile on Remus’ lips and a mischievous glint in his eyes when he answers. “I know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, sorry, this is much too silly!
> 
> Find me on Tumblr as [Engie-Ivy](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/engie-ivy)  
> and come say hi!


End file.
